constantly
like an elevator ride
from heaven to hell
and back again.
repetitive and never ending
a boring existence
the same scenery
the same memories
the same everything.
forgetting your name;
forgetting your name
lost, slipped out of the mind
possibly forever gone.
maybe it wasn't important anyway.
concentration is overrated;
concentration is overrated
it is something obviously absent
in my own complex mind.
mumbo jumbo
it's all that is being read
nothing making any sense
even though research as proven it so.
distractions abounding
creeping out from every corner
determined to draw the mind
away from the task
most desperately required at hand.
go away, go away
focus, focus
this has to be done.
faces of the past;
like crystals
they glisten in the sunlight
bouncing off jovial rays
of multicolored lights
miniature rainbows.
these are the faces of the past
those who we have met
and those who we cannot remember.
and still they are with us
always watching
always looming over our shoulders
seeing what we see
thinking what we think.
we never know their names
we cannot remember their voices
but still they speak to us
not through words
but through the heart.
prepackaged;
go to the store, he said
and pick me up a bottle
of happiness
i hope they haven't run out.
a world devoid of natural feelings
black and white emotions
and any deviation
they have to pay for it.
wanting a one night stand?
an ounce of lust and some condoms
will do the trick
plus a willing partner.
feeling a little under the weather?
nothing better than a revitalizing cocktail
of happiness and hope
to brighten the days
(oh, no color there either).
outsiders view this mysterious world
how is it that these people live?
having no direction of their own
everything prepackaged and convenient.
it's not the way
life should be lived.
and pick me up a bottle
of happiness
i hope they haven't run out.
a world devoid of natural feelings
black and white emotions
and any deviation
they have to pay for it.
wanting a one night stand?
an ounce of lust and some condoms
will do the trick
plus a willing partner.
feeling a little under the weather?
nothing better than a revitalizing cocktail
of happiness and hope
to brighten the days
(oh, no color there either).
outsiders view this mysterious world
how is it that these people live?
having no direction of their own
everything prepackaged and convenient.
it's not the way
life should be lived.
dandelion seeds;
close your eyes
make a wish
and blow the seeds away.
fragments of your thought
they carry it across
who listens to these dreams
who will grant your wish?
some are scattered and lost
others merrily float
oblivious to its surroundings
fulfilling its one and only purpose.
dandelion seeds
magical rituals
who will they reach?
make a wish
and blow the seeds away.
fragments of your thought
they carry it across
who listens to these dreams
who will grant your wish?
some are scattered and lost
others merrily float
oblivious to its surroundings
fulfilling its one and only purpose.
dandelion seeds
magical rituals
who will they reach?
autumn trails;
walk along autumn trails
steps clouded in light fog
leaves falling like snow
barely brushing upon the shoulders.
the crisp cool breeze
not too hot, not too cold
just right, said goldilocks.
a quiet place to contemplate
of whatever swims in the mind.
little critters and creatures
twittering and fluttering
a musical symphony accompaniment
to the rusting of shivering trees.
an earth trodden path
walked upon many, many times
seeing many, many individuals
each with their own story.
and now it is our turn
what mark will we leave?
steps clouded in light fog
leaves falling like snow
barely brushing upon the shoulders.
the crisp cool breeze
not too hot, not too cold
just right, said goldilocks.
a quiet place to contemplate
of whatever swims in the mind.
little critters and creatures
twittering and fluttering
a musical symphony accompaniment
to the rusting of shivering trees.
an earth trodden path
walked upon many, many times
seeing many, many individuals
each with their own story.
and now it is our turn
what mark will we leave?
little red balloon;
little red balloon
floating up in the sky
free and unhindered
unwilling released.
little red balloon
not helium filled
but with childhood memories
times far in the past
little specks of grain
glistening in morning sunlight.
hopes and dreams for the future unseen
precariously spanning the world
up, up, up it goes
higher and higher and higher.
whose little red balloon
is floating in the sky
catching the breeze for a faster ride
telescoping all below.
whose little red balloon
is far out of grasp
containing everything dear
the foundations of their life.
who else sees this little red balloon
baring to all like a birthday suit
no confines or covers
with which to shield itself.
little red balloon
where will you go?
little red balloon
when you pop
what will your memories be?
floating up in the sky
free and unhindered
unwilling released.
little red balloon
not helium filled
but with childhood memories
times far in the past
little specks of grain
glistening in morning sunlight.
hopes and dreams for the future unseen
precariously spanning the world
up, up, up it goes
higher and higher and higher.
whose little red balloon
is floating in the sky
catching the breeze for a faster ride
telescoping all below.
whose little red balloon
is far out of grasp
containing everything dear
the foundations of their life.
who else sees this little red balloon
baring to all like a birthday suit
no confines or covers
with which to shield itself.
little red balloon
where will you go?
little red balloon
when you pop
what will your memories be?
it was all in our mind;
it was me and it was you
we took a look at the view
and said
let's get away from here
and so we decided to take flight
floating above mountain skies
up so very high
up so very high
but we
never fell down from where we were
and we
could forget the things
that never mattered anyway
and so we decided to take flight
soaring above the sea so blue
we can almost taste the sight
of salty water grains
from here to there
we cyber-jumped from every point
taking in what we only read in books
our own fairy tale
and in the end we opened our eyes
to see that we didn't actually move
it was all in our mind
it was all in our mind.
we took a look at the view
and said
let's get away from here
and so we decided to take flight
floating above mountain skies
up so very high
up so very high
but we
never fell down from where we were
and we
could forget the things
that never mattered anyway
and so we decided to take flight
soaring above the sea so blue
we can almost taste the sight
of salty water grains
from here to there
we cyber-jumped from every point
taking in what we only read in books
our own fairy tale
and in the end we opened our eyes
to see that we didn't actually move
it was all in our mind
it was all in our mind.
god;
god
i used to believe in you
and then i didn't for a long time.
but now i am hanging in limbo.
i don't know who you are yet
i am slowly figuring it out
but i still have my doubts.
when in desperation
i call out to you
when i need someone to talk to
i seek you out.
but i still can't work it.
my mind and heart are at a cross-section
a fork in the road, if you will.
from a purely science point-of-view
you cannot possibly exist
as all phenomena can be evaluated
in black and white.
natural disasters do not befall humanity
because of a god's anger and displeasure.
it can be explained in scientific terms.
and let's not get started
on how old the earth is.
but from a spiritual standpoint
someone has to exist.
but there are many religions to choose from
and the question is, which is the right one?
aren't they all right, if only to have something to believe?
and if we are the product of a higher being
and we carry out their will
doesn't my indecision and uncertainty
stem from said higher being?
and wouldn't it mean
that atheists are atheists
because god made them so?
as you can see, god
whoever you may be
whatever you may be
this has made me run around in circles
my thoughts jumbled and in disarray
in trying to decipher the hieroglyphics.
but in the end
it is my own choice
as to who i believe you to be.
would it be wrong for me to make you up
and to mold you into how i think god should be?
or is that itself heresy
and must i pick one and only one
to base my faith upon that alone?
i do not know what to do
you really can be confusing.
i used to believe in you
and then i didn't for a long time.
but now i am hanging in limbo.
i don't know who you are yet
i am slowly figuring it out
but i still have my doubts.
when in desperation
i call out to you
when i need someone to talk to
i seek you out.
but i still can't work it.
my mind and heart are at a cross-section
a fork in the road, if you will.
from a purely science point-of-view
you cannot possibly exist
as all phenomena can be evaluated
in black and white.
natural disasters do not befall humanity
because of a god's anger and displeasure.
it can be explained in scientific terms.
and let's not get started
on how old the earth is.
but from a spiritual standpoint
someone has to exist.
but there are many religions to choose from
and the question is, which is the right one?
aren't they all right, if only to have something to believe?
and if we are the product of a higher being
and we carry out their will
doesn't my indecision and uncertainty
stem from said higher being?
and wouldn't it mean
that atheists are atheists
because god made them so?
as you can see, god
whoever you may be
whatever you may be
this has made me run around in circles
my thoughts jumbled and in disarray
in trying to decipher the hieroglyphics.
but in the end
it is my own choice
as to who i believe you to be.
would it be wrong for me to make you up
and to mold you into how i think god should be?
or is that itself heresy
and must i pick one and only one
to base my faith upon that alone?
i do not know what to do
you really can be confusing.
look around at the world;
look around at the world
so vast the landscape is
topped with ice-capped mountains
and deep bottomless seas.
mountain ranges have had fifty million years to develop
and us, our human life-span stretches only seventy four years.
what does that make us?
we believe to rule the world
superior to any other living creature
which walks the planet.
the world is for our taking
and we relentlessly plow her resources
draining every last drop
until there is nothing left.
earth, before it was called earth
was around for many, many years
infinity is seems
compared to time as we know it.
history has made a mark
sometimes remembered, other times not.
but still, even that goes back
only a few seconds.
how insignificant our lives must be
in the eyes of the sun.
does the earth laugh at great discoveries
we appear to make?
it can all be gone in one-split-second
and all can be lost.
maybe earth has a plan for us
to exterminate the species that threaten her core.
a lonely little parasite that might be our demise
or a treacherous storm to drown us all.
and maybe after we are long gone
when all technology and destruction comes to a halt
earth will begin to rebuild itself
to foster that beautiful landscape we haphazardly destroyed
and renew its gloriousness.
and will we be allowed back, after another few million years pass?
or will we be completely lost in time
never again to come to existence?
maybe perhaps we will.
maybe we have already come back from eons before.
maybe this is a never ending cycle.
and maybe history will continue to repeat itself
over and over again.
so vast the landscape is
topped with ice-capped mountains
and deep bottomless seas.
mountain ranges have had fifty million years to develop
and us, our human life-span stretches only seventy four years.
what does that make us?
we believe to rule the world
superior to any other living creature
which walks the planet.
the world is for our taking
and we relentlessly plow her resources
draining every last drop
until there is nothing left.
earth, before it was called earth
was around for many, many years
infinity is seems
compared to time as we know it.
history has made a mark
sometimes remembered, other times not.
but still, even that goes back
only a few seconds.
how insignificant our lives must be
in the eyes of the sun.
does the earth laugh at great discoveries
we appear to make?
it can all be gone in one-split-second
and all can be lost.
maybe earth has a plan for us
to exterminate the species that threaten her core.
a lonely little parasite that might be our demise
or a treacherous storm to drown us all.
and maybe after we are long gone
when all technology and destruction comes to a halt
earth will begin to rebuild itself
to foster that beautiful landscape we haphazardly destroyed
and renew its gloriousness.
and will we be allowed back, after another few million years pass?
or will we be completely lost in time
never again to come to existence?
maybe perhaps we will.
maybe we have already come back from eons before.
maybe this is a never ending cycle.
and maybe history will continue to repeat itself
over and over again.
the sun, it rises;
the sun, it rises
the same way it has
for many, many years
except for rainy mornings
with the dark clouds taking
the spotlight.
it is an ever constant presence
look up to the sky
and you will always find it.
even in the dark of night
the stars still glow brightly
the lighthouse to empty seas.
magnificent and brilliantly gigantic
in comparison to our small planet
but from afar and in solitude
it is a massive sphere of fire.
but still, even when the world is devoid of life
the sun will still make it marks
to announce the arrival of dawn
over and over again.
the same way it has
for many, many years
except for rainy mornings
with the dark clouds taking
the spotlight.
it is an ever constant presence
look up to the sky
and you will always find it.
even in the dark of night
the stars still glow brightly
the lighthouse to empty seas.
magnificent and brilliantly gigantic
in comparison to our small planet
but from afar and in solitude
it is a massive sphere of fire.
but still, even when the world is devoid of life
the sun will still make it marks
to announce the arrival of dawn
over and over again.
hold on strong;
hold on strong
it is all that you can do now
even when the world around you
crumbles to the ground.
evil lurks behind every corner
it watches the steps you take
and the dreams you make
infiltrating them to frighten you
and to make you succumb to its clutches.
you must always be on your guard
never let it falter
it may be the last thing you do
before you are taken over.
the light burns dimly
grows ever so slowly
but surely brightening
until it becomes a beacon of hope
a shining future to encapsulate
and shield the world
from those who live to harm.
let your heart grow stronger
and you can surpass the darkest of omens
to arise victorious
and end the black age of fear.
it is all that you can do now
even when the world around you
crumbles to the ground.
evil lurks behind every corner
it watches the steps you take
and the dreams you make
infiltrating them to frighten you
and to make you succumb to its clutches.
you must always be on your guard
never let it falter
it may be the last thing you do
before you are taken over.
the light burns dimly
grows ever so slowly
but surely brightening
until it becomes a beacon of hope
a shining future to encapsulate
and shield the world
from those who live to harm.
let your heart grow stronger
and you can surpass the darkest of omens
to arise victorious
and end the black age of fear.
expendable life;
expendable life
no, there is no such thing.
each is precious
and worth the world to someone.
they are the apple of someone's eye
their hearts beat just as strong.
they should never be forgotten
especially by those who love them
even if the rest of the world fails to see.
show respect and be courteous
they are just like us.
no, there is no such thing.
each is precious
and worth the world to someone.
they are the apple of someone's eye
their hearts beat just as strong.
they should never be forgotten
especially by those who love them
even if the rest of the world fails to see.
show respect and be courteous
they are just like us.
heaven's eternity;
watching the world from above
the people going on with their daily lives
so close and yet so far away
almost able to touch them
but considered nonexistent.
all those years gone
the future she never had
the first kiss she would always miss
children and grandchildren she would never see.
stolen forever
lost in time
just a memory in the past
of a history spanning millions
just a drop in the ocean
a lonely star in the universe.
she never did choose this path
it just happened
out of her control
instigated by the one person nobody would suspect
until the end.
but in her little world
though separated from all she loved
peace and happiness was found
a calm serenity that envelops her
where no harm could triumph.
in her little heaven she could spend eternity.
the people going on with their daily lives
so close and yet so far away
almost able to touch them
but considered nonexistent.
all those years gone
the future she never had
the first kiss she would always miss
children and grandchildren she would never see.
stolen forever
lost in time
just a memory in the past
of a history spanning millions
just a drop in the ocean
a lonely star in the universe.
she never did choose this path
it just happened
out of her control
instigated by the one person nobody would suspect
until the end.
but in her little world
though separated from all she loved
peace and happiness was found
a calm serenity that envelops her
where no harm could triumph.
in her little heaven she could spend eternity.
stoplight;
stoplight
with blinking colors
red, yellow, green
the staple for the road
like christmas tree lights
twinkling in the night.
with blinking colors
red, yellow, green
the staple for the road
like christmas tree lights
twinkling in the night.
i want to kiss your lips;
i want to kiss your lips
and memorize the contours of your face
every sparkle in your eye
every freckle on your nose
so that i won't forget until the day i die.
and memorize the contours of your face
every sparkle in your eye
every freckle on your nose
so that i won't forget until the day i die.
constant reassurance;
i'm sorry to keep on asking
but it's a need for constant reassurance
to know that i am doing the right thing
that i haven't screwed up somewhere along the way.
but the decisions that i make
are they really the best ones?
or were there better ones hidden away
obscure but plain as day?
i can't help it
maybe it's an underlying psychiatric disorder
that prompts me to question as i do
to second guess myself time and time again
and pray fervently that it was the right choice.
but it's a need for constant reassurance
to know that i am doing the right thing
that i haven't screwed up somewhere along the way.
but the decisions that i make
are they really the best ones?
or were there better ones hidden away
obscure but plain as day?
i can't help it
maybe it's an underlying psychiatric disorder
that prompts me to question as i do
to second guess myself time and time again
and pray fervently that it was the right choice.
a step;
it's a step that's hard to take
the first one out of the comfort zone
to discover the unknown
and pave a new yellow-brick road.
the first one out of the comfort zone
to discover the unknown
and pave a new yellow-brick road.
downsize;
it's just a downsize
but it feels like ripping at the soul
it's falling into place
but without feeling that ache.
always replaceable later on
but in the present
feeling empty.
down the drain it seems to go
dragging along the memories
until they disappear from sight
to only be relived in the mind.
gotta look forward to the future
and rebuild it once again.
but it feels like ripping at the soul
it's falling into place
but without feeling that ache.
always replaceable later on
but in the present
feeling empty.
down the drain it seems to go
dragging along the memories
until they disappear from sight
to only be relived in the mind.
gotta look forward to the future
and rebuild it once again.
alone;
she sits there
in a room full of people
friends, acquaintances and strangers
but they are just a blur.
outside, she appears nonchalant
cool, calm, and normal
but inside
no one can see the turmoil
she screaming, crying, dying
she's banging on the walls of her prison
and no one can hear her.
for months it rages on
but the origin she knows not
only that it haunts her
sending her to the very edge of her sanity.
self-manipulation brings comfort
if only for a moment
for just a little while.
but she is a coward
as she cannot take that first step
to descend downward to empty oblivion.
but still no one hears
not even those whom she holds dear
no one, no one
she suffers alone.
in a room full of people
friends, acquaintances and strangers
but they are just a blur.
outside, she appears nonchalant
cool, calm, and normal
but inside
no one can see the turmoil
she screaming, crying, dying
she's banging on the walls of her prison
and no one can hear her.
for months it rages on
but the origin she knows not
only that it haunts her
sending her to the very edge of her sanity.
self-manipulation brings comfort
if only for a moment
for just a little while.
but she is a coward
as she cannot take that first step
to descend downward to empty oblivion.
but still no one hears
not even those whom she holds dear
no one, no one
she suffers alone.
autumn;
the presence of autumn has finally arrived
the cool crisp breeze cuts through welcomingly
the crunching of colorful leaves beneath our feet
like music to the soul.
the pumpkin patches spring
apple cinnamon cider
and all the memories from years ago
begin to come to life once more.
the days get shorter, cooler
the nights get longer, colder
tree covered mountains boast
a rainbow that lasts the season.
this is the perfect intermission
between hot summer days and cold winter nights
the just-right weather for a light sweater
where pleasant daydreams are the staple.
the cool crisp breeze cuts through welcomingly
the crunching of colorful leaves beneath our feet
like music to the soul.
the pumpkin patches spring
apple cinnamon cider
and all the memories from years ago
begin to come to life once more.
the days get shorter, cooler
the nights get longer, colder
tree covered mountains boast
a rainbow that lasts the season.
this is the perfect intermission
between hot summer days and cold winter nights
the just-right weather for a light sweater
where pleasant daydreams are the staple.
hope, dream;
to hope and to dream
of many things that could never by
and everything that is
right here, right now.
we hopelessly lose ourselves in daydreams
trying to work out the universe we live in
so much that we spiral out of control
and lose touch on what is real.
we have to put away the dreams of our hopes
fantasy can only go so far before reality kicks in
the present is what we must live for
so that we can look forward to our future.
of many things that could never by
and everything that is
right here, right now.
we hopelessly lose ourselves in daydreams
trying to work out the universe we live in
so much that we spiral out of control
and lose touch on what is real.
we have to put away the dreams of our hopes
fantasy can only go so far before reality kicks in
the present is what we must live for
so that we can look forward to our future.
just live;
such a coward
can't even take the final plunge
stupid, idiotic fascinations
but can't even pursue.
so what's the point
don't even think about it
if you are so scared
why bother dreaming?
just relax and enjoy
don't end it too quick
it isn't worth it
just live.
can't even take the final plunge
stupid, idiotic fascinations
but can't even pursue.
so what's the point
don't even think about it
if you are so scared
why bother dreaming?
just relax and enjoy
don't end it too quick
it isn't worth it
just live.
we walked on clouds;
we walked on clouds
once upon a time
catching shooting stars
stopping them in midair
as they flew us by.
we watched the world beneath us
miniscule life forms to us
but everything to them.
we danced on the moon
saturn too
relishing our private playground
with the sun and black holes as our backdrop.
and at the end of the day
we curled up to sleep
cocooned in our very own star
to brightly shine upon the world at night.
once upon a time
catching shooting stars
stopping them in midair
as they flew us by.
we watched the world beneath us
miniscule life forms to us
but everything to them.
we danced on the moon
saturn too
relishing our private playground
with the sun and black holes as our backdrop.
and at the end of the day
we curled up to sleep
cocooned in our very own star
to brightly shine upon the world at night.
lost thoughts;
i can't remember what i wanted to say
my thoughts have grown wings and flown away
i try to recall that single thought
hidden, obscure and completely lost.
it's an awkward moment
a pregnant pause to cement
engraved forever in time
where did it go, come let it shine.
my thoughts have grown wings and flown away
i try to recall that single thought
hidden, obscure and completely lost.
it's an awkward moment
a pregnant pause to cement
engraved forever in time
where did it go, come let it shine.
thirteen fourteen years ago;
thirteen almost fourteen years ago
but i would like to say
forgive her, she couldn't understand
she was trying to live the day by day.
maybe something could have blossomed
but the time she could not sacrifice
the need to survive so instilled
that was enough to suffice.
in retrospect i reflect
perhaps you would have been good
things may have progressed further
had she not be so focused on home and food.
i hope the years have been kind to you
as you were to us long ago
i wish you well on the rest of your life
though what i write, you will never know.
but i would like to say
forgive her, she couldn't understand
she was trying to live the day by day.
maybe something could have blossomed
but the time she could not sacrifice
the need to survive so instilled
that was enough to suffice.
in retrospect i reflect
perhaps you would have been good
things may have progressed further
had she not be so focused on home and food.
i hope the years have been kind to you
as you were to us long ago
i wish you well on the rest of your life
though what i write, you will never know.
thank you;
thank you for the freedom
thank you for the break of ties
thank you for the divorce
i think i came out just fine.
you chose your path
and maybe i became a stronger person
a better person than i could have been
had you stuck around longer.
yes times were hard
so many things i want to say
but may it be a peace of mind
that i never did stray.
thank you for the break of ties
thank you for the divorce
i think i came out just fine.
you chose your path
and maybe i became a stronger person
a better person than i could have been
had you stuck around longer.
yes times were hard
so many things i want to say
but may it be a peace of mind
that i never did stray.
shh;
shh
just, just
stop.
you're getting ahead of yourself
like you always did.
your racing thoughts
halt them
and just pause.
listen with your heart
and not with your mind.
always worried
ulcers sure to abound
lower the cortisol
calm it down.
take it slowly, slowly, slowly
it's not a race to the finish line
slow and easy does it
and from there your treasure you will find.
just, just
stop.
you're getting ahead of yourself
like you always did.
your racing thoughts
halt them
and just pause.
listen with your heart
and not with your mind.
always worried
ulcers sure to abound
lower the cortisol
calm it down.
take it slowly, slowly, slowly
it's not a race to the finish line
slow and easy does it
and from there your treasure you will find.
it's over again;
it's over again
you say it isn't true
but still can you deny
even after what you've been through
don't waste your breath
just turn your body away
keep on walking
don't look back another day
stop, wipe away your tears
dry off your wet cheeks
stop the faucet of pain
close it up, don't let it leak
the sun has come out again
your constant waking star
it will always find you
no matter where you are
you say it isn't true
but still can you deny
even after what you've been through
don't waste your breath
just turn your body away
keep on walking
don't look back another day
stop, wipe away your tears
dry off your wet cheeks
stop the faucet of pain
close it up, don't let it leak
the sun has come out again
your constant waking star
it will always find you
no matter where you are
start again;
start again from the beginning
where were the origins
where did it birth?
you're chattering away
but put on the brakes
slow down, slow down
don't get caught in the moment
remember your place.
hold you thoughts
and hold your breaths
think about it, think about it
do you really understand
do you really?
where were the origins
where did it birth?
you're chattering away
but put on the brakes
slow down, slow down
don't get caught in the moment
remember your place.
hold you thoughts
and hold your breaths
think about it, think about it
do you really understand
do you really?
hanging from the ceiling;
hanging from the ceiling upside down
looking at the world
from another round
different perspectives
i think i can see from your eyes now.
hard to work out the calculations
the math so confusing, jumbled
scrambled eggs
and talking french to me.
you tell me all these things
can i ever trust you
do your words ring with truth
or are they polluted with lies.
it's hard to make decisions
choices abound
what will be found
can i make it right
or will it all be for naught?
looking at the world
from another round
different perspectives
i think i can see from your eyes now.
hard to work out the calculations
the math so confusing, jumbled
scrambled eggs
and talking french to me.
you tell me all these things
can i ever trust you
do your words ring with truth
or are they polluted with lies.
it's hard to make decisions
choices abound
what will be found
can i make it right
or will it all be for naught?
secrets and dreams;
sometimes you pluck at the strings of your guitar
singing a nonexistent song in your native tongue
of nonsense words and phrased out lore
of stories weaved in through time.
and step by step you take the walk
from end to end the trip you embark
to contemplate and wonder in your little mind
searching for the thing you cannot find.
whisper to the wind of all your secrets
dance to the rhythm of your heart
whisper to the sea of all your dreams
dance to the beat of your hopes.
travel to the other side of the world
open up your mind, find in everything a pearl
a treasure that you cannot deny
a treasure that you must fortify.
wonder what the world would be like
if this and that and what ifs and could be
of everything that we wish we could predict
but guess we must leave it up to destiny.
tell me of the days that you were young
tell me of the years that you treasured for so, so long
tell me of all the things you never did do
tell me
tell me
tell me
whisper to the wind of all your secrets
dance to the rhythm of your heart
whisper to the sea of all your dreams
dance to the beat of your hopes.
of your hopes, of your heart
all your secrets, all your dreams.
singing a nonexistent song in your native tongue
of nonsense words and phrased out lore
of stories weaved in through time.
and step by step you take the walk
from end to end the trip you embark
to contemplate and wonder in your little mind
searching for the thing you cannot find.
whisper to the wind of all your secrets
dance to the rhythm of your heart
whisper to the sea of all your dreams
dance to the beat of your hopes.
travel to the other side of the world
open up your mind, find in everything a pearl
a treasure that you cannot deny
a treasure that you must fortify.
wonder what the world would be like
if this and that and what ifs and could be
of everything that we wish we could predict
but guess we must leave it up to destiny.
tell me of the days that you were young
tell me of the years that you treasured for so, so long
tell me of all the things you never did do
tell me
tell me
tell me
whisper to the wind of all your secrets
dance to the rhythm of your heart
whisper to the sea of all your dreams
dance to the beat of your hopes.
of your hopes, of your heart
all your secrets, all your dreams.
buzz, buzz, buzz;
buzz, buzz, buzz
a deadly attraction
the luminescent glow
so bright and joyful
such trickery
manipulative to meet its needs
curiosity killed the cat
so they say
unknowingly speaking the truth
for those who are helpless and naive
the luring of the innocent
impending destruction of purity
cruel and arrogantly aggressive
self-centered and merciless
the only way to survive
but taking pleasure of every moment
a deadly attraction
the luminescent glow
so bright and joyful
such trickery
manipulative to meet its needs
curiosity killed the cat
so they say
unknowingly speaking the truth
for those who are helpless and naive
the luring of the innocent
impending destruction of purity
cruel and arrogantly aggressive
self-centered and merciless
the only way to survive
but taking pleasure of every moment
so long ago;
staring at the pictures
the memories from so long ago
colors are faded
but the joy still remains
embedded in photos forever.
outdated, but still precious
fashion from a lifetime ago
completely laughable now
but of course it will be the same
ten years from now.
so many years ago
and yet seems like yesterday
still remembering the taking of the photos
the laughter and happiness
that radiates from our grinning cheeks.
so precious, so dear
so much to love
forever treasured.
the memories from so long ago
colors are faded
but the joy still remains
embedded in photos forever.
outdated, but still precious
fashion from a lifetime ago
completely laughable now
but of course it will be the same
ten years from now.
so many years ago
and yet seems like yesterday
still remembering the taking of the photos
the laughter and happiness
that radiates from our grinning cheeks.
so precious, so dear
so much to love
forever treasured.
asleep and sucking her thumb;
asleep and sucking her thumb
poor little child
far too small for the bed
so large in comparison
despite brightly colored blankets.
tubes and wires abound
attached here and there
little machines that make sounds
somewhat oddly comforting.
this shouldn't happen
it is surreal and unnatural
it goes against nature.
but all we can do is hope
and pray, and wish fervently
for the end of such strife.
poor little child
far too small for the bed
so large in comparison
despite brightly colored blankets.
tubes and wires abound
attached here and there
little machines that make sounds
somewhat oddly comforting.
this shouldn't happen
it is surreal and unnatural
it goes against nature.
but all we can do is hope
and pray, and wish fervently
for the end of such strife.
so much;
so much to learn
so much to do
cramming it all in
filling it to the brim
when will it overflow?
page after page
word after word
it never seems to end
and it is only the beginning.
is it over yet
when will it disappear?
is it time to close it
when will it be goodbye?
so much to do
cramming it all in
filling it to the brim
when will it overflow?
page after page
word after word
it never seems to end
and it is only the beginning.
is it over yet
when will it disappear?
is it time to close it
when will it be goodbye?
daydreaming it away;
daydreaming it away
lost, gone, fallen
from the high branch from she sat
blissfully aware
of reality.
little world, alone
planting flowers
and singing songs
like a cloud in july
content in solitude.
caress of breezes
that dance playfully among the trees
sending autumn leaves rustling
swirling
to the ground they gently land.
crunch, crunch
a musical symphony of crackles
feet treading the earth and fallen branches
as she wanders in her reverie.
lost, gone, fallen
from the high branch from she sat
blissfully aware
of reality.
little world, alone
planting flowers
and singing songs
like a cloud in july
content in solitude.
caress of breezes
that dance playfully among the trees
sending autumn leaves rustling
swirling
to the ground they gently land.
crunch, crunch
a musical symphony of crackles
feet treading the earth and fallen branches
as she wanders in her reverie.
butterfly;
butter
flutter flutter
fly
colorful wings
brightening the sky
flapping happily
this way and that
in the moment
forever to last.
flutter flutter
fly
colorful wings
brightening the sky
flapping happily
this way and that
in the moment
forever to last.
it is time to wake up;
waking up before the dawn
the early morning rising
kissing the world with sunlight
a gentle caress to awaken
sleepy inhabitants.
darkness running away
fleeing for sanctuary
to the other side of the world.
morning floods every crevice
a battle it quickly triumphs.
the groggy remnants of sleep
slowly seeping from pillowed heads
dissipating into nothing.
crinkled eyes from bright light
giant yawns and stretched out arms
bodily stretch more than their height
it is time to wake up
it is time to wake up.
the early morning rising
kissing the world with sunlight
a gentle caress to awaken
sleepy inhabitants.
darkness running away
fleeing for sanctuary
to the other side of the world.
morning floods every crevice
a battle it quickly triumphs.
the groggy remnants of sleep
slowly seeping from pillowed heads
dissipating into nothing.
crinkled eyes from bright light
giant yawns and stretched out arms
bodily stretch more than their height
it is time to wake up
it is time to wake up.
the music calms and soothes;
the music calms and soothes the wounds
notes treading softly over burnt flesh
singing a little melody to heal
like phoenix tears
whispering sweet nothings.
a sleepy swaying in the song
overcoming senses, numbing and warm
nestled in embrace
a lullaby of gentle waves.
the pool of problems dissipates
evaporating into darkness
giving back the light it took
as the music finally begins to peak.
notes treading softly over burnt flesh
singing a little melody to heal
like phoenix tears
whispering sweet nothings.
a sleepy swaying in the song
overcoming senses, numbing and warm
nestled in embrace
a lullaby of gentle waves.
the pool of problems dissipates
evaporating into darkness
giving back the light it took
as the music finally begins to peak.
dear me;
dear me
buckle up and get ready
prepare for take off
at the count of three.
it's time, it's time
to shift between the lines
to find the rhymes of my life
new ones are needed now.
stand up straight and confident
quell the quaking and the shaking
pull my own weight to set
it's time to move forward
no matter how bent out of shape.
buckle up and get ready
prepare for take off
at the count of three.
it's time, it's time
to shift between the lines
to find the rhymes of my life
new ones are needed now.
stand up straight and confident
quell the quaking and the shaking
pull my own weight to set
it's time to move forward
no matter how bent out of shape.
it's done, it's over;
it's done, it's over
it's begun again.
it's started once more
a repetitive state
never-ending it seems.
exhausted beyond belief
whacked out senses
trying to get back
into the groove
that it was once so used to.
such a hiatus is never so good
ridiculously impossible to recover.
can't we just live in blissful ignorance?
it's begun again.
it's started once more
a repetitive state
never-ending it seems.
exhausted beyond belief
whacked out senses
trying to get back
into the groove
that it was once so used to.
such a hiatus is never so good
ridiculously impossible to recover.
can't we just live in blissful ignorance?
thunder, thunder;
thunder, thunder
rolling in the distance
a symphony of crashes
growing closer with every sound.
it rumbles and gently roars
soothing to the mind and soul
a personal lullaby
that lulls one to the dream world.
a calming caress
that brings upon a sense of peace.
rolling in the distance
a symphony of crashes
growing closer with every sound.
it rumbles and gently roars
soothing to the mind and soul
a personal lullaby
that lulls one to the dream world.
a calming caress
that brings upon a sense of peace.
old, wrinkled, and wise
old, wrinkled, and wise
seemingly grandfatherly in many ways
but behind those half-mooned spectacles
lay a warrior
a mastermind at battle tactics.
however caring and gentle he may appear
he was a ruthless commander in the face of war
sacrificing many, people and beliefs
for the sake of the greater good.
but in the end
was he really that much different?
or was he exactly the same?
seemingly grandfatherly in many ways
but behind those half-mooned spectacles
lay a warrior
a mastermind at battle tactics.
however caring and gentle he may appear
he was a ruthless commander in the face of war
sacrificing many, people and beliefs
for the sake of the greater good.
but in the end
was he really that much different?
or was he exactly the same?
silly little girl
silly little girl
nose forever stuck in books
a seemingly permanent smudge of ink
etched on the apple of her cheek.
despite the resident bookworm status
she was aware of far more important things.
love.
for her parents, her friends, and her belief.
time and time again she endured the hatefulness
of bigots believing her to be nothing better
than dirt.
an abomination to a select few
a hero to some
but the world to everyone else.
nose forever stuck in books
a seemingly permanent smudge of ink
etched on the apple of her cheek.
despite the resident bookworm status
she was aware of far more important things.
love.
for her parents, her friends, and her belief.
time and time again she endured the hatefulness
of bigots believing her to be nothing better
than dirt.
an abomination to a select few
a hero to some
but the world to everyone else.
scared, no, terrified;
scared, no, terrified
of what was to come
feeling so alone
yet surrounded by many
enveloped in an atmosphere of love.
destiny's plans already set out
he, merely a pawn in the game of the gods
gods who laughed at him to their own entertainment.
but of course
the gods were not as merciless
as victory became his
and finally his life his own.
of what was to come
feeling so alone
yet surrounded by many
enveloped in an atmosphere of love.
destiny's plans already set out
he, merely a pawn in the game of the gods
gods who laughed at him to their own entertainment.
but of course
the gods were not as merciless
as victory became his
and finally his life his own.
so clumsy and lanky;
so clumsy and lanky
with a shock of red hair and scattered freckles
a crooked grin
but the eyes, oh the eyes
filled with life, joy
so alive.
fierce loyalty that cannot be surpassed
and though the mouth cannot hold back what the mind screams
the heart is the most important part
bleeding courage and righteousness
as it always was supposed to.
with a shock of red hair and scattered freckles
a crooked grin
but the eyes, oh the eyes
filled with life, joy
so alive.
fierce loyalty that cannot be surpassed
and though the mouth cannot hold back what the mind screams
the heart is the most important part
bleeding courage and righteousness
as it always was supposed to.
secret memory;
who left you there alone
weak and broken, bloodied and tattered
your mind invaded and your will manipulated
forced of course.
what did they find in your little mind
so repulsive for you to pay the crime
of tortures that they committed
the ones you once trusted.
and now, after all is done and over
when you are once again your own
was it worth it?
that secret memory you held so dear.
they betrayed and tore you apart.
weak and broken, bloodied and tattered
your mind invaded and your will manipulated
forced of course.
what did they find in your little mind
so repulsive for you to pay the crime
of tortures that they committed
the ones you once trusted.
and now, after all is done and over
when you are once again your own
was it worth it?
that secret memory you held so dear.
they betrayed and tore you apart.
trying to find that perfect escape;
trying to find that perfect escape
to shut out the word and its cruelties
and to relish in complete silence
that only solitude can offer.
chaos interferes with even a nominal existence
the burdens weighing down like heavy bricks
threatening to crush the shoulders
of the unfortunate person keeping them up.
closing the eyes and shutting the ears
can only go so far
before that barrier is broken
and everything comes crashing in.
to shut out the word and its cruelties
and to relish in complete silence
that only solitude can offer.
chaos interferes with even a nominal existence
the burdens weighing down like heavy bricks
threatening to crush the shoulders
of the unfortunate person keeping them up.
closing the eyes and shutting the ears
can only go so far
before that barrier is broken
and everything comes crashing in.
alice, alice...;
alice, alice...
...run, run
fall through the rabbit hole
to a place where dreams come alive
and fantasy becomes reality.
don't look back, just keep on walking
and let imagination take flight.
...run, run
fall through the rabbit hole
to a place where dreams come alive
and fantasy becomes reality.
don't look back, just keep on walking
and let imagination take flight.
morning;
the fresh aroma of coffee brewing
on a crisp fall morning
with a cool, almost chilling breeze
awakening the scenes for a new day.
the conflict between a hot cup
and the cold outside air
stirs up rapidly with a spoon
warmth and comfort becoming
the obvious victor within the body.
the sun will barely tip the peaks of the mountains
peeking almost shyly at the the world below
chasing away the moonlit skies
to bravely shine with all its might.
the dark, black sky will fade to grey
and slowly, gently tint the sky deep blue and pink
gracing the world with a beautiful scene
which only few can truly appreciate.
and it is within these mornings that one can contemplate
where one can find inner peace as the world awakes
to start off fresh before the new day
and it live it out the very fullest.
on a crisp fall morning
with a cool, almost chilling breeze
awakening the scenes for a new day.
the conflict between a hot cup
and the cold outside air
stirs up rapidly with a spoon
warmth and comfort becoming
the obvious victor within the body.
the sun will barely tip the peaks of the mountains
peeking almost shyly at the the world below
chasing away the moonlit skies
to bravely shine with all its might.
the dark, black sky will fade to grey
and slowly, gently tint the sky deep blue and pink
gracing the world with a beautiful scene
which only few can truly appreciate.
and it is within these mornings that one can contemplate
where one can find inner peace as the world awakes
to start off fresh before the new day
and it live it out the very fullest.
the time draws nearer;
the time draws nearer
when heaven and hell prepare for battle
to bring their forces to the middle
and fight in the name of good and evil.
will angels and demons only grace the field
or will humanity have to partake
in ethereal warfare
and hope to come out alive in the end?
what sort of magic will be brewing
as compatible as fire and ice
to concoct a thunderous storm
lightening illuminating
the war of ages?
maybe it will never cease to be planned
maybe the world will be left alone
to its own dangerous devices.
perhaps our ethereal beings will lay to rest
to let us live in peace
even if we must succumb to our sins.
when heaven and hell prepare for battle
to bring their forces to the middle
and fight in the name of good and evil.
will angels and demons only grace the field
or will humanity have to partake
in ethereal warfare
and hope to come out alive in the end?
what sort of magic will be brewing
as compatible as fire and ice
to concoct a thunderous storm
lightening illuminating
the war of ages?
maybe it will never cease to be planned
maybe the world will be left alone
to its own dangerous devices.
perhaps our ethereal beings will lay to rest
to let us live in peace
even if we must succumb to our sins.
the summer is dying;
the summer is dying
and we're going to have to face the music
to walk down the isle with many eyes
only to have our worst dreams realized.
unlike what others sing
our parallel thoughts eventually merging
to one focal point
of simply stopping time
to live in the moment.
but as all good things must come to an end
so does the summer we relish in
allowing the sun to swell
and eventually burst
our unconstricted freedom.
schedules and books and coffee
will once again don the breaking of the day
fresh, and new to start
but still unwilling to wake up
from the comforts of our lazy bed.
and we're going to have to face the music
to walk down the isle with many eyes
only to have our worst dreams realized.
unlike what others sing
our parallel thoughts eventually merging
to one focal point
of simply stopping time
to live in the moment.
but as all good things must come to an end
so does the summer we relish in
allowing the sun to swell
and eventually burst
our unconstricted freedom.
schedules and books and coffee
will once again don the breaking of the day
fresh, and new to start
but still unwilling to wake up
from the comforts of our lazy bed.
treasure box;
a treasure box
filled with sentimental nothings
collected over the years
bringing forth buried memories.
a movie theatre ticket
titled this month, this day
five years ago
a first date plus a friend
at eleven forty five a.m.
a unicorn bookmark
given by a dear friend in fifth grade
a friend that drifted away in time
but still holding a special place in my heart.
a handmade origami christmas card
from a friend still in contact
since sixth grade.
a monologue of cinderella's ugly stepsister
performed in front of peers
sixth or seventh grade
still remembering the inflections in the voice.
photos from two-thousand-and-three
seven years in the past
nights and days spent with friends
bonding over christmas cookies.
and so many more trinkets to go
each and every single memento
remembering when it occurred
and the feelings that coursed through my veins.
i can remember it all
and i never wish to forget.
filled with sentimental nothings
collected over the years
bringing forth buried memories.
a movie theatre ticket
titled this month, this day
five years ago
a first date plus a friend
at eleven forty five a.m.
a unicorn bookmark
given by a dear friend in fifth grade
a friend that drifted away in time
but still holding a special place in my heart.
a handmade origami christmas card
from a friend still in contact
since sixth grade.
a monologue of cinderella's ugly stepsister
performed in front of peers
sixth or seventh grade
still remembering the inflections in the voice.
photos from two-thousand-and-three
seven years in the past
nights and days spent with friends
bonding over christmas cookies.
and so many more trinkets to go
each and every single memento
remembering when it occurred
and the feelings that coursed through my veins.
i can remember it all
and i never wish to forget.
and still i check;
i know it's futile, really
clicking at the tabs
hoping something will appear
as if by magic
and put my insane curiosity
at ease.
but of course, nothing
nothing illuminates the screen
nothing sparks excitement
only bitter disappointment
at being thwarted
time and time again.
and still i check
repeatedly, constantly
that craving deep within me
needing, wanting reassurance and satisfaction
even though it knows it will gain neither.
and still i check, and still i check.
clicking at the tabs
hoping something will appear
as if by magic
and put my insane curiosity
at ease.
but of course, nothing
nothing illuminates the screen
nothing sparks excitement
only bitter disappointment
at being thwarted
time and time again.
and still i check
repeatedly, constantly
that craving deep within me
needing, wanting reassurance and satisfaction
even though it knows it will gain neither.
and still i check, and still i check.
wouldn't tell;
i held you in my dreams
hugging you so tightly
i was afraid i'd break your bones
of your already fragile frame.
what had happened to you
wasted away, skin and bones
with haunting, hollow eyes
devoid of any spark of hope.
you wouldn't tell me.
i asked you if you wanted to talk
you flashed me a forced smile
commenting in the negative.
i asked you if you wanted help
and got the same response.
but you were tormented
i could see it in the lines on your face
the way you trembled in my arms
unless it was just from exhaustion
you wouldn't tell me.
i felt the lack of hope reflected in your eyes
and wanted so desperately to take away your pain
who or what caused your desolate state
you wouldn't tell me.
either to protect yourself from suppressed memories
or to spare me the horrors of your tribulations
you wouldn't tell me.
you wouldn't whisper a single word.
hugging you so tightly
i was afraid i'd break your bones
of your already fragile frame.
what had happened to you
wasted away, skin and bones
with haunting, hollow eyes
devoid of any spark of hope.
you wouldn't tell me.
i asked you if you wanted to talk
you flashed me a forced smile
commenting in the negative.
i asked you if you wanted help
and got the same response.
but you were tormented
i could see it in the lines on your face
the way you trembled in my arms
unless it was just from exhaustion
you wouldn't tell me.
i felt the lack of hope reflected in your eyes
and wanted so desperately to take away your pain
who or what caused your desolate state
you wouldn't tell me.
either to protect yourself from suppressed memories
or to spare me the horrors of your tribulations
you wouldn't tell me.
you wouldn't whisper a single word.
hush now;
hush now
dry your wet eyes
tears do not become you
fight the sorrow and go take back
your life.
dry your wet eyes
tears do not become you
fight the sorrow and go take back
your life.
memory lingers;
it is haunting, the way your memory lingers
gently, sweetly - like day old cologne.
it caresses my soul when you are gone
giving me that spark of hope
the flame that never quite dies
no matter the years gone by.
i can no longer picture your face
it is a fuzzy outline, blurred by color
indistinguishable from the next.
but still, it is my brightest memory
crystal clear as a wine glass.
and so, it is my most cherished.
gently, sweetly - like day old cologne.
it caresses my soul when you are gone
giving me that spark of hope
the flame that never quite dies
no matter the years gone by.
i can no longer picture your face
it is a fuzzy outline, blurred by color
indistinguishable from the next.
but still, it is my brightest memory
crystal clear as a wine glass.
and so, it is my most cherished.
balloon;
a helium inflated balloon
bobbing happily against the string
that tethers it to the ground
strong and sound
not letting it go
anywhere.
mobile but stationary, dancing along a tune
sung by the movements of the wind
a musical symphony
that flutters through leaves on a tree.
a little air-head, literally
unable to focus on anything but
its current state of bliss.
bobbing happily against the string
that tethers it to the ground
strong and sound
not letting it go
anywhere.
mobile but stationary, dancing along a tune
sung by the movements of the wind
a musical symphony
that flutters through leaves on a tree.
a little air-head, literally
unable to focus on anything but
its current state of bliss.
i want to;
i want to climb the highest mountain tops
exhilarated, breathless
and scream at the top of my lungs
letting out every sorrow and every joy
just to release them free on their journey.
i want to swim across the deepest ocean
twice as fast as lightening
feeling the icy splashes numb
to appreciate every sensation taken for granted.
i want to fly to the heavens
past the clouds and the burning sun
so that i have an excuse
to fall right into your waiting embrace.
exhilarated, breathless
and scream at the top of my lungs
letting out every sorrow and every joy
just to release them free on their journey.
i want to swim across the deepest ocean
twice as fast as lightening
feeling the icy splashes numb
to appreciate every sensation taken for granted.
i want to fly to the heavens
past the clouds and the burning sun
so that i have an excuse
to fall right into your waiting embrace.
snap, snap;
snap, snap
like a polaroid picture
capturing the moment
still-life dreams
immortalized.
a jewel, drop in the ocean
a hidden treasure, coveted
lost in the winds
buried long ago
in the sand.
playing hide-and-seek
with memories found
to life the picture comes
brightening stormy skies.
like a polaroid picture
capturing the moment
still-life dreams
immortalized.
a jewel, drop in the ocean
a hidden treasure, coveted
lost in the winds
buried long ago
in the sand.
playing hide-and-seek
with memories found
to life the picture comes
brightening stormy skies.
shining beacon;
you came to me in a nightmare
my shining beacon amongst
a world of terror gleaming.
a golden light that bathed you
emitting a comfort unheard of
your illuminating figure
brightening up the darkest of fears.
my savior where hope was lost
my guide to the world of consciousness
you led me out, you lifted me up
and the veil of sleep which smothered me
dissipated with your farewell.
my shining beacon amongst
a world of terror gleaming.
a golden light that bathed you
emitting a comfort unheard of
your illuminating figure
brightening up the darkest of fears.
my savior where hope was lost
my guide to the world of consciousness
you led me out, you lifted me up
and the veil of sleep which smothered me
dissipated with your farewell.
a cup of insanity;
sip it slowly, carefully
relish in the sweet aroma
a cup of insanity
a new swirl of tea
custom-made for your palate.
the devilish little smirk
gently kissing the corner of your lips
as you contemplate and brood
of whatever musings gallop in your mind.
the hot warmth spreading through your palms
fingertips alight with fire
soaking away the heat
into your slowly melting heart.
closing the eyes to enhance the senses
listening, breathing, tasting
of a victory not yet won
except perhaps only in the mind.
relish in the sweet aroma
a cup of insanity
a new swirl of tea
custom-made for your palate.
the devilish little smirk
gently kissing the corner of your lips
as you contemplate and brood
of whatever musings gallop in your mind.
the hot warmth spreading through your palms
fingertips alight with fire
soaking away the heat
into your slowly melting heart.
closing the eyes to enhance the senses
listening, breathing, tasting
of a victory not yet won
except perhaps only in the mind.
second chance;
a hint of guilt
with a dash of sorrow
and a cupful of regret
mix it up, shake it out
fertilize your dying garden.
twiddling thumbs
a nervous heart shaking
a calm facade setting
on the tear-stained cheeks
meticulously disguised beneath foundation.
what to do, to mend the wrongs
the wounds opened up and exposed
microbial infestations
gnawing at the edges of the soul.
is there a possibility
for redemption
and a second chance.
a lost opportunity
that faded weeks ago
will it, can it
be resurfaced?
with a dash of sorrow
and a cupful of regret
mix it up, shake it out
fertilize your dying garden.
twiddling thumbs
a nervous heart shaking
a calm facade setting
on the tear-stained cheeks
meticulously disguised beneath foundation.
what to do, to mend the wrongs
the wounds opened up and exposed
microbial infestations
gnawing at the edges of the soul.
is there a possibility
for redemption
and a second chance.
a lost opportunity
that faded weeks ago
will it, can it
be resurfaced?
let it out;
let it out
she did shout
scream, cry, and die.
throw the temper
break the wards
shred the jumper
spilling filthy words.
bottled up no more
losing grip on the door
falling down to sweet ground
kissing the blessed floor.
thank you, thank you
released from demons
far past their due
close the eyes
time to sleep
drifting to a dream to keep
lured by lullabies.
she did shout
scream, cry, and die.
throw the temper
break the wards
shred the jumper
spilling filthy words.
bottled up no more
losing grip on the door
falling down to sweet ground
kissing the blessed floor.
thank you, thank you
released from demons
far past their due
close the eyes
time to sleep
drifting to a dream to keep
lured by lullabies.
those dreams again;
last night was filled with those dreams again
of being pursued and marked for conquer
and the ever-lingering idiocy
that surely cannot exist in reality.
it was almost exciting
in a weird, twisted way
fighting for my life
and yet knowing i would survive.
because it was only a dream.
of being pursued and marked for conquer
and the ever-lingering idiocy
that surely cannot exist in reality.
it was almost exciting
in a weird, twisted way
fighting for my life
and yet knowing i would survive.
because it was only a dream.
skip a hop on every star;
skip a hop on every star
hand in hand to where you are
so very high above the world
a lovely sight to behold.
close the mouth and open the mind
around the sun we shall ride
tell the stories of the ages
it is all within perspective pages.
always hungry for the unknown
always conquering, as history has shown
watch the beauty from afar
a memorizing beacon, twinkling star.
hand in hand to where you are
so very high above the world
a lovely sight to behold.
close the mouth and open the mind
around the sun we shall ride
tell the stories of the ages
it is all within perspective pages.
always hungry for the unknown
always conquering, as history has shown
watch the beauty from afar
a memorizing beacon, twinkling star.
love-hate relationship;
ugh, it's you again, huh?
well, come on in
and make yourself comfortable
i know you won't be going for a minute
it's a love-hate relationship
always desperate for the other
and yet when coming face-to-face
finding it's presence discomforting
and annoying
but still
every time we meet
there is a spark of hope and happiness
even for just a moment
before it dissipates
until the next time
well, come on in
and make yourself comfortable
i know you won't be going for a minute
it's a love-hate relationship
always desperate for the other
and yet when coming face-to-face
finding it's presence discomforting
and annoying
but still
every time we meet
there is a spark of hope and happiness
even for just a moment
before it dissipates
until the next time
add add add;
add add add
it's just a popularity contest
like high school prom king and queen
who will get the titles?
who is the most famous?
how many of those can you truly call upon
when you are falling so far down
that you need an army to lift you up.
like memories
we have lived through millions
but which are the ones
will we remember on our deathbeds?
it's just a popularity contest
like high school prom king and queen
who will get the titles?
who is the most famous?
how many of those can you truly call upon
when you are falling so far down
that you need an army to lift you up.
like memories
we have lived through millions
but which are the ones
will we remember on our deathbeds?
harry potter and graduation;
so i have come to realize
the very last installment to harry potter
the very last film
will come out the year i graduate college.
it is surreal, really
finally, the adventure coming to a complete end.
and it holds more symbolic meaning to me
than anything else ever had.
harry potter comes to an end in july 2011
and i will graduate from college august 2011.
it is like a sign, to leave behind childhood
to close a chapter of my life i held so dear
to pave the way to a new future
taking my first real step into the adult world.
the very last installment to harry potter
the very last film
will come out the year i graduate college.
it is surreal, really
finally, the adventure coming to a complete end.
and it holds more symbolic meaning to me
than anything else ever had.
harry potter comes to an end in july 2011
and i will graduate from college august 2011.
it is like a sign, to leave behind childhood
to close a chapter of my life i held so dear
to pave the way to a new future
taking my first real step into the adult world.
day-by-day;
what am i living for?
it seems like a day-by-day
not really looking forward
but simply living in the moment.
but count the days that passed
the years now only memories
beginning to fade in the distance of time.
what is the purpose?
it seems surreal to see
that more than half the year
has faded away.
i feel stuck in place
glued to the ground
and unable to move my feet
forward.
it seems like a day-by-day
not really looking forward
but simply living in the moment.
but count the days that passed
the years now only memories
beginning to fade in the distance of time.
what is the purpose?
it seems surreal to see
that more than half the year
has faded away.
i feel stuck in place
glued to the ground
and unable to move my feet
forward.
the perfect image;
i've concocted the perfect image
the highest standard attainable
and it is sitting vacant
waiting for the one to fill its place.
waiting waiting waiting
patient and impatiently
just hanging around
until the moment where
everything falls into place.
time crawls by slowly
but still it stands strong
vigilant
holding its ground until
the dust is finally blown off.
the highest standard attainable
and it is sitting vacant
waiting for the one to fill its place.
waiting waiting waiting
patient and impatiently
just hanging around
until the moment where
everything falls into place.
time crawls by slowly
but still it stands strong
vigilant
holding its ground until
the dust is finally blown off.
grumble;
grumble grumble grumble
time to satisfy this natural calling
and then maybe i can focus
on what needs tending.
time to satisfy this natural calling
and then maybe i can focus
on what needs tending.
i am decorating my mind;
i am decorating my mind
filling the grey walls with books
pushing a comfy aubergine chair into the corner
right next to window that spans wide
doubling what is my fourth wall.
i am decorating my mind
and beyond the window lies
an outside world that is almost always
shining with brilliant sunlight
with fluffy white clouds scattered
among a sea of ocean-blue skies.
i am decorating my mind
hanging canvas paintings of cities
so life-like, one must double-take
and looking closely, every pixel is a memory
which has formed in my life-time.
i am decorating my mind
because it is my sanctuary
a place that i can retreat to in the darkest of times
the one escape that is my own
that no one can ever destroy.
filling the grey walls with books
pushing a comfy aubergine chair into the corner
right next to window that spans wide
doubling what is my fourth wall.
i am decorating my mind
and beyond the window lies
an outside world that is almost always
shining with brilliant sunlight
with fluffy white clouds scattered
among a sea of ocean-blue skies.
i am decorating my mind
hanging canvas paintings of cities
so life-like, one must double-take
and looking closely, every pixel is a memory
which has formed in my life-time.
i am decorating my mind
because it is my sanctuary
a place that i can retreat to in the darkest of times
the one escape that is my own
that no one can ever destroy.
rolling thunder;
a rolling thunder outside
no rain, no lightening
just a semi-calm sound
soothing and non-threatening.
a peaceful atmosphere
amidst a brewing storm
perhaps it is the eye
or maybe its typical temperament.
but no matter
this continuous roll that does not deviate
to stark silence or treacherous screams
we can continue to bathe in its lullaby.
no rain, no lightening
just a semi-calm sound
soothing and non-threatening.
a peaceful atmosphere
amidst a brewing storm
perhaps it is the eye
or maybe its typical temperament.
but no matter
this continuous roll that does not deviate
to stark silence or treacherous screams
we can continue to bathe in its lullaby.
make up my mind;
i guess i can make up my mind now
and stop beating around the bush
maybe now i can start something
that hopefully is not too late
what exactly had i been waiting for?
what did i finally lose?
even though it was never mine to begin with
and stop beating around the bush
maybe now i can start something
that hopefully is not too late
what exactly had i been waiting for?
what did i finally lose?
even though it was never mine to begin with
it feels as if a balloon has burst;
it feels as if a balloon has burst
spilling an icy cold on my insides
stopping my heart and my breath
as the pain begins to escalate
i should have expected it
i really did know, deep down inside
but even so, it aches and it burns
but now, maybe it won't be so bad
anymore
maybe it will turn away and crawl back
hiding from the view of the world
that it was invisible to anyway
spilling an icy cold on my insides
stopping my heart and my breath
as the pain begins to escalate
i should have expected it
i really did know, deep down inside
but even so, it aches and it burns
but now, maybe it won't be so bad
anymore
maybe it will turn away and crawl back
hiding from the view of the world
that it was invisible to anyway
there's a bridge between us;
there's a bridge between us
that is seemingly growing longer
stretching out for what seems like miles
and i am not sure how we can meet
halfway.
the love between is there, true
but aside from genetics
we seem like polite strangers
no matter how much we beat around the bush.
i don't know what to say anymore
i don't know how to change it anymore
i don't exactly want to give up
but what is there to do?
that is seemingly growing longer
stretching out for what seems like miles
and i am not sure how we can meet
halfway.
the love between is there, true
but aside from genetics
we seem like polite strangers
no matter how much we beat around the bush.
i don't know what to say anymore
i don't know how to change it anymore
i don't exactly want to give up
but what is there to do?
children are vulnerable;
children are vulnerable
and you committed a crime against one.
it is so degrading
that you should not be allowed
to see the beginnings of a new day
ever again.
a little girl is helpless
completely dependent on an adult
and you broke that trust.
you are the epitome of evil.
and you committed a crime against one.
it is so degrading
that you should not be allowed
to see the beginnings of a new day
ever again.
a little girl is helpless
completely dependent on an adult
and you broke that trust.
you are the epitome of evil.
summer dresses and iced tea;
summer dresses and iced tea
in the heat of a summer's eve
the closing of a beautiful day
a setting sun to fade.
in the heat of a summer's eve
the closing of a beautiful day
a setting sun to fade.
oh well;
huh, so that is how you look now
completely changed, older, much older
not that i can remember what you looked like
many years ago.
so, if you look like that
he must mirror it, if only slightly
i doubt i could even recognize him
anymore.
not my fault, however
it was not my choice
but happened nonetheless.
oh well.
completely changed, older, much older
not that i can remember what you looked like
many years ago.
so, if you look like that
he must mirror it, if only slightly
i doubt i could even recognize him
anymore.
not my fault, however
it was not my choice
but happened nonetheless.
oh well.
she wants to take a ride;
she wants to take a ride
out on the countryside
with the wind tousling her hair
and the vast sky before her
open and wide.
out on the countryside
with the wind tousling her hair
and the vast sky before her
open and wide.
the other side of the mirror;
how do i get there, she wondered
to the other side of the mirror
an alternate reality and universe
where i once dwelled
in what seemed like a memory from long ago.
i can poke and prod, she said
but it will not give
and there is something
or someone
on the other side
that i want so desperately.
it is really frustrating, she vented
i will go completely mad
if i am to stay where i am
for even a minute longer.
please, please, let me through, she ached
i think i know why
the reason to my beating heart
whenever i think about the other side.
i think i know, i need to go, please.
to the other side of the mirror
an alternate reality and universe
where i once dwelled
in what seemed like a memory from long ago.
i can poke and prod, she said
but it will not give
and there is something
or someone
on the other side
that i want so desperately.
it is really frustrating, she vented
i will go completely mad
if i am to stay where i am
for even a minute longer.
please, please, let me through, she ached
i think i know why
the reason to my beating heart
whenever i think about the other side.
i think i know, i need to go, please.
can you stop haunting me;
can you stop haunting me
my dreams are torture enough
because waking up hurts
as i know it is most definitely
not my reality
nor will it ever be
you and i equate to nothing
my dreams are torture enough
because waking up hurts
as i know it is most definitely
not my reality
nor will it ever be
you and i equate to nothing
fireflies;
fireflies
flickering little lights
twinkling in the darkness
one by one
illuminating.
on the eve on a warm summer day
precariously falling into the traps
of a child's wish
for a living nightlight.
and year after year
summer after summer
they will be back
to foster the dreams
of generations to come.
flickering little lights
twinkling in the darkness
one by one
illuminating.
on the eve on a warm summer day
precariously falling into the traps
of a child's wish
for a living nightlight.
and year after year
summer after summer
they will be back
to foster the dreams
of generations to come.
so innocent;
so innocent
a brain devoid of washing
an empty slate to create
a lack of influence to induce
so vast and beautiful
waiting to be molded.
so young
starting out life only a few months before
a guinea pig to two
learning the ropes to the world
completely dependent.
take your steps slowly
don't rush blindly
try to see the world in multiple views
understand it from another stand
but above all
awaken your potential
and live to your fullest.
a brain devoid of washing
an empty slate to create
a lack of influence to induce
so vast and beautiful
waiting to be molded.
so young
starting out life only a few months before
a guinea pig to two
learning the ropes to the world
completely dependent.
take your steps slowly
don't rush blindly
try to see the world in multiple views
understand it from another stand
but above all
awaken your potential
and live to your fullest.
beautiful, young, free;
so beautiful
so young
so free
and living in the moment
taking it for granted.
time goes forward
and we are always growing
aging another year
another day
another minute
another second.
we waste away our most precious years
only to look back at it much later
and wondering
what the hell were we thinking?
so young
so free
and living in the moment
taking it for granted.
time goes forward
and we are always growing
aging another year
another day
another minute
another second.
we waste away our most precious years
only to look back at it much later
and wondering
what the hell were we thinking?
pyramid;
here
let us try
this once more
maybe, just maybe
it will actually look like
what i am aiming for.
it may not be quite
perfect, but it is
the beginning
to what we
all hope
for.
let us try
this once more
maybe, just maybe
it will actually look like
what i am aiming for.
it may not be quite
perfect, but it is
the beginning
to what we
all hope
for.
i almost died;
a painful stitch on the right side
right over the rib
i can feeling the bump
the calcified ridge
from a wound long healed.
why now
after all those years
does the injury ache
subtly, but clear all the same.
it triggers the memories buried deep
of the first time
i almost died.
right over the rib
i can feeling the bump
the calcified ridge
from a wound long healed.
why now
after all those years
does the injury ache
subtly, but clear all the same.
it triggers the memories buried deep
of the first time
i almost died.
oh how quickly time flies by;
rifling through the hard drive
an array of photos
reflecting memories as far as five years back
high school
first job
birthdays
outings
every image whispers ghosts from my past
oh how quickly time flies by
and i can picture myself
in another five, ten, or twenty years
repeating the exact same statement
an array of photos
reflecting memories as far as five years back
high school
first job
birthdays
outings
every image whispers ghosts from my past
oh how quickly time flies by
and i can picture myself
in another five, ten, or twenty years
repeating the exact same statement
i am feeling disconnected;
i am feeling disconnected
like i am watching the world
from the outside in
wanting to desperately be a part
a corporeal existence.
it is almost disheartening
to seem excluded
like an outsider intruding
on the life never to be my own.
i am even plagued in dreams
by such circumstances and situations.
it is beyond my control
and yet so close
i can almost taste it.
so why can i not be a part of it?
like i am watching the world
from the outside in
wanting to desperately be a part
a corporeal existence.
it is almost disheartening
to seem excluded
like an outsider intruding
on the life never to be my own.
i am even plagued in dreams
by such circumstances and situations.
it is beyond my control
and yet so close
i can almost taste it.
so why can i not be a part of it?
you know--;
you know--
you can say that i am afraid of growing older
that i am afraid of change
change to the world
--my body
--my mind
it is an overwhelming sensation
like dreams of falling.
you can say that i am afraid of growing older
that i am afraid of change
change to the world
--my body
--my mind
it is an overwhelming sensation
like dreams of falling.
hard to breath;
hard to breathe
suffocating
like choking on a sour lemon
how to reverse the effects?
feeling pinned down
shackled to the ground
becoming all too familiar with it
unwillingly and inevitably.
it mirrors a cold existence
the happy thoughts and memories
no longer in abundance
but faded like the dust
lost in the spiral of time.
suffocating
like choking on a sour lemon
how to reverse the effects?
feeling pinned down
shackled to the ground
becoming all too familiar with it
unwillingly and inevitably.
it mirrors a cold existence
the happy thoughts and memories
no longer in abundance
but faded like the dust
lost in the spiral of time.
the unsung hero;
forgotten
he was left in the sidelines
the unsung hero
a warrior lost, drowned by his past
his glory shadowed by the chosen one.
nothing could have been successful
nor would freedom have existed
had he not orchestrated the plans of war.
he was a prisoner, a spy, a pawn
two sides of war, two sides of a coin
having to make his stand
on both good and evil
a paradoxical crisis.
he is the one without support
risking his life and dignity
to grovel at the feet of a madman
to do the biding of a conspirator
just to save the world
which turned a blind eye to his torment.
the world that gives nothing
and yet desires everything.
the world believes he should pay
to atone for his past sins
even when circumstances were beyond his control.
every night he goes to bed
shaking from the after-effects of his latest tortures
his body tired and broken
lacerated from the deepest corners of his soul
to his superficial layer of skin.
and yet, he puts himself on the line
time and time again
he sacrifices every comfort he never had
to ensure that the world which scorns his very existence
can live to see another sunrise.
[05/2010]
he was left in the sidelines
the unsung hero
a warrior lost, drowned by his past
his glory shadowed by the chosen one.
nothing could have been successful
nor would freedom have existed
had he not orchestrated the plans of war.
he was a prisoner, a spy, a pawn
two sides of war, two sides of a coin
having to make his stand
on both good and evil
a paradoxical crisis.
he is the one without support
risking his life and dignity
to grovel at the feet of a madman
to do the biding of a conspirator
just to save the world
which turned a blind eye to his torment.
the world that gives nothing
and yet desires everything.
the world believes he should pay
to atone for his past sins
even when circumstances were beyond his control.
every night he goes to bed
shaking from the after-effects of his latest tortures
his body tired and broken
lacerated from the deepest corners of his soul
to his superficial layer of skin.
and yet, he puts himself on the line
time and time again
he sacrifices every comfort he never had
to ensure that the world which scorns his very existence
can live to see another sunrise.
[05/2010]
dreaming about a new tomorrow;
she is dreaming about a new tomorrow
the future that which she can almost taste
the very understanding of knowing
hitching up a level of anticipation
that she can barely contain.
it is like a tune
to which she cannot
stop dancing to.
the rhythm the essence of her soul
her heartbeats her metronome.
slowly but surely
that beautiful dream of hers
will rise along the horizon
to shift from future to present
to become her reality
until it fades into the backdrop
and becomes a wonderful memory of the past.
[05/2010]
the future that which she can almost taste
the very understanding of knowing
hitching up a level of anticipation
that she can barely contain.
it is like a tune
to which she cannot
stop dancing to.
the rhythm the essence of her soul
her heartbeats her metronome.
slowly but surely
that beautiful dream of hers
will rise along the horizon
to shift from future to present
to become her reality
until it fades into the backdrop
and becomes a wonderful memory of the past.
[05/2010]
i love how a scent;
i love how a scent
can send you hurtling
through the space of time
to a memory buried over the years.
the sounds and the sights
they rush right by, flying, speeding
it is hard to hold on tight
on this gut-wrenching, whirlwind ride.
it is a chain reaction
the connections your neurons create
the scents being your catalyst
your brain filling in the gaps
reviving the puzzle pieces.
and we all hope
that those scents from the ghosts of your past
are pleasant memories
that foster satisfaction and joy
and brighten the darkest of days.
[05/2010]
can send you hurtling
through the space of time
to a memory buried over the years.
the sounds and the sights
they rush right by, flying, speeding
it is hard to hold on tight
on this gut-wrenching, whirlwind ride.
it is a chain reaction
the connections your neurons create
the scents being your catalyst
your brain filling in the gaps
reviving the puzzle pieces.
and we all hope
that those scents from the ghosts of your past
are pleasant memories
that foster satisfaction and joy
and brighten the darkest of days.
[05/2010]
dreaming of another world;
i am dreaming of another world
so unlike my current reality
where circumstances are only possible
in the imagination of books.
a completely different view
an untouched landscape just waiting
to be conquered.
how could i possibly immerse myself
and stay there forever?
so unlike my current reality
where circumstances are only possible
in the imagination of books.
a completely different view
an untouched landscape just waiting
to be conquered.
how could i possibly immerse myself
and stay there forever?
a free man;
and there he stood
an outsider in an alien world
completely naked to those before him
as they scrutinized his sincerity.
who is this strange creature
they whispered amongst themselves.
can he be trusted
is he friend or foe.
could they afford to give him the benefit of the doubt
when so many like him before
proved to be a dangerous omen.
or is he truly an ally
holding up the facade of a bastard
cruel and unrelenting
only to protect what was dear to him
so that he could finally walk out
a free man.
an outsider in an alien world
completely naked to those before him
as they scrutinized his sincerity.
who is this strange creature
they whispered amongst themselves.
can he be trusted
is he friend or foe.
could they afford to give him the benefit of the doubt
when so many like him before
proved to be a dangerous omen.
or is he truly an ally
holding up the facade of a bastard
cruel and unrelenting
only to protect what was dear to him
so that he could finally walk out
a free man.
caboose of life;
such a turn
like flipping sides of a coin
so abrupt and without warning
so completely upside down.
hurtful but true words thrown
however badly it needed to be said
however badly it needed to be heard
with love as the catalyst.
but it still aches
a lump in the hollow of the throat
eyes pricking the back of eyelids
but never spilling over.
it's all about change
and a will to push forward
to pave a new pathway
instead of cowering in the caboose of life.
like flipping sides of a coin
so abrupt and without warning
so completely upside down.
hurtful but true words thrown
however badly it needed to be said
however badly it needed to be heard
with love as the catalyst.
but it still aches
a lump in the hollow of the throat
eyes pricking the back of eyelids
but never spilling over.
it's all about change
and a will to push forward
to pave a new pathway
instead of cowering in the caboose of life.
scared of change;
she is scared of new places
of new surroundings, new people
she is scared of change
maybe that is what is holding her back
keeping her from reaching her potential.
she clings to what is familiar
to every last speck of dust
knowing that if she leaves
she may never find her way back.
it is almost a nightmare
in the midst of a tormenting heaven.
how badly she wants to leave
but so terrified of the unknown beyond.
she prays so fervently for the strength
she wishes so desperately for the courage
to be able to break out of her shell
and let the light into her life.
of new surroundings, new people
she is scared of change
maybe that is what is holding her back
keeping her from reaching her potential.
she clings to what is familiar
to every last speck of dust
knowing that if she leaves
she may never find her way back.
it is almost a nightmare
in the midst of a tormenting heaven.
how badly she wants to leave
but so terrified of the unknown beyond.
she prays so fervently for the strength
she wishes so desperately for the courage
to be able to break out of her shell
and let the light into her life.
lost;
lost
maybe it is time for a change
possibly a new beginning
should i embark on an adventure
and leave behind everything i know
to pursue a secret just for me?
maybe it is time to walk away
footsteps that will carry me to there
a place far from my home
where my future lies.
maybe it is time for a change
possibly a new beginning
should i embark on an adventure
and leave behind everything i know
to pursue a secret just for me?
maybe it is time to walk away
footsteps that will carry me to there
a place far from my home
where my future lies.
it was my birthday;
it was my birthday
may fourth nineteen eighty seven.
this year i turned twenty-three.
did you even think about me?
did i even cross your mind
even for just a second?
what did you do, i wonder
have you forgotten me.
i haven't forgotten you
but i don't care for you
not really
and i am entitled to do so.
you, on the other hand
do not have a choice.
in a cruel way
i want you to remember
to be pained at the knowledge
that you never got to see me grow up
because of your selfish choice.
in a cruel way
i want you to know that you died
a very long time ago
as your new persona was birthed
from the smoke from which you lit
possibly your first taste of the darkness.
i want you to know that you hurt me
beyond what my memories can recollect.
i want you to know that i hated you once
so very much.
that i wanted you dead
i wanted you deported
i wanted the blood that ran through my veins
to drip onto the dirt ground
where i felt it belonged.
but now, i do not hate you
but i do not love you either
and i still have not forgiven you.
i have, however, come to terms
and only recently.
that person who was once in my life
is dead.
that is how i see it as you are definitely
not who you used to be
not for seventeen years.
many may forget their past
the details of their early lives.
just a fuzzy haze.
but i remember quite a lot
in vivid detail
and even the sounds.
but i wish to only focus on memories that happened
before your 'death'
quotations as you are still very much alive
i assume.
memories from when happiness was abounding in my life
where love bursted from the seams of its container.
the memories after are still fond
but without you in them.
and although i try my hardest not to
i fantasize how things might have been
once upon a time in the future.
what kind of person would i have become
would i be the same
or would i be completely different
on a track of sex and drugs
not healthcare and education.
so maybe, i am to thank you for leaving
for no longer being in my life
because perhaps without you in it
i have become far better than i ever could have imagined.
so now maybe i have come to a decision
to shut the door on that one part of my past.
it is over now anyway, isn't it?
it's time to say goodbye
and hopefully for the very last time.
may fourth nineteen eighty seven.
this year i turned twenty-three.
did you even think about me?
did i even cross your mind
even for just a second?
what did you do, i wonder
have you forgotten me.
i haven't forgotten you
but i don't care for you
not really
and i am entitled to do so.
you, on the other hand
do not have a choice.
in a cruel way
i want you to remember
to be pained at the knowledge
that you never got to see me grow up
because of your selfish choice.
in a cruel way
i want you to know that you died
a very long time ago
as your new persona was birthed
from the smoke from which you lit
possibly your first taste of the darkness.
i want you to know that you hurt me
beyond what my memories can recollect.
i want you to know that i hated you once
so very much.
that i wanted you dead
i wanted you deported
i wanted the blood that ran through my veins
to drip onto the dirt ground
where i felt it belonged.
but now, i do not hate you
but i do not love you either
and i still have not forgiven you.
i have, however, come to terms
and only recently.
that person who was once in my life
is dead.
that is how i see it as you are definitely
not who you used to be
not for seventeen years.
many may forget their past
the details of their early lives.
just a fuzzy haze.
but i remember quite a lot
in vivid detail
and even the sounds.
but i wish to only focus on memories that happened
before your 'death'
quotations as you are still very much alive
i assume.
memories from when happiness was abounding in my life
where love bursted from the seams of its container.
the memories after are still fond
but without you in them.
and although i try my hardest not to
i fantasize how things might have been
once upon a time in the future.
what kind of person would i have become
would i be the same
or would i be completely different
on a track of sex and drugs
not healthcare and education.
so maybe, i am to thank you for leaving
for no longer being in my life
because perhaps without you in it
i have become far better than i ever could have imagined.
so now maybe i have come to a decision
to shut the door on that one part of my past.
it is over now anyway, isn't it?
it's time to say goodbye
and hopefully for the very last time.
the dream, the everything;
the dream
the everything we worked for
the very essence of our soul
it is heartbreaking to see it crumble
to watch as the foundation begins to crack
like a mirror fatally dropped to the ground
it seems unfair that this said dream must meet demise
in the most cruel possible way
it is not the cause of one fault
but of many rolled into one
catastrophic tornado
and to rebuild this broken city
will take much longer than ever before
especially with a burdened heart
the everything we worked for
the very essence of our soul
it is heartbreaking to see it crumble
to watch as the foundation begins to crack
like a mirror fatally dropped to the ground
it seems unfair that this said dream must meet demise
in the most cruel possible way
it is not the cause of one fault
but of many rolled into one
catastrophic tornado
and to rebuild this broken city
will take much longer than ever before
especially with a burdened heart
conscience;
conscience
that little voice in the back of your head
telling you what to do, guiding you
from right and wrong
what happens when it leaves you
when you are left to fend for yourself
when the world becomes silent
how long could you survive
that little voice in the back of your head
telling you what to do, guiding you
from right and wrong
what happens when it leaves you
when you are left to fend for yourself
when the world becomes silent
how long could you survive
uncivilized;
uncivilized, they said
like a ragged train wreck
an animal on the loose
most definitely inhuman.
where does such a vision
such ideology extend from?
"all animals are equal,
but some are more equal than others"
how scary the irony
of how it seems to be taken to heart
by closed-minded individuals
who believe it is their birthright
to be superior to others.
it is an asinine revelation.
like a ragged train wreck
an animal on the loose
most definitely inhuman.
where does such a vision
such ideology extend from?
"all animals are equal,
but some are more equal than others"
how scary the irony
of how it seems to be taken to heart
by closed-minded individuals
who believe it is their birthright
to be superior to others.
it is an asinine revelation.
guilty;
guilty, a feeling all too familiar
reverberating throughout the years
from childhood to adulthood
haunting me along every path.
i feel as if i am hitting my head
against a brick wall i cannot break down
forever to stand before me
blocking the exit to the new world.
running and running
but never-ending
and no where to hide.
how to overcome it
how to leave the past behind
how to go on forward.
reverberating throughout the years
from childhood to adulthood
haunting me along every path.
i feel as if i am hitting my head
against a brick wall i cannot break down
forever to stand before me
blocking the exit to the new world.
running and running
but never-ending
and no where to hide.
how to overcome it
how to leave the past behind
how to go on forward.
haunting love;
can you not see that she remembers
the details are so crystal clear
the moving pictures so vivid
the memory so haunting.
love
what is that which we call love
affection?
infatuation?
obsession?
the beautiful heartbreak that was the outcome
from a world that held no joy
but only sadness and fear
from whom we trust.
what do they think
when the turn their heads away
from the multicolored bruises
that decorate pale skin.
why do they ignore
when we call out for help
why do they let it go.
the details are so crystal clear
the moving pictures so vivid
the memory so haunting.
love
what is that which we call love
affection?
infatuation?
obsession?
the beautiful heartbreak that was the outcome
from a world that held no joy
but only sadness and fear
from whom we trust.
what do they think
when the turn their heads away
from the multicolored bruises
that decorate pale skin.
why do they ignore
when we call out for help
why do they let it go.
pretty little bracelet;
pretty little bracelet
resting beautifully on a thin wrist
sparkling in the limelight
exactly where it should be.
but a little too small it became
a little too tight it hugged the skin
indentations imprinted
as if to mark its territory.
so a grip and a pull
to free oneself
like a bird in a gilded cage
but still a prisoner
no matter how pretty the shackles.
and then the final spring
a burst of beads flying
clattering to the marble ground
and running off in all directions
every harsh memory fading away.
no more is the wrist captive
no more can that beautiful disguise control
free, free, free
just as we always should have been.
resting beautifully on a thin wrist
sparkling in the limelight
exactly where it should be.
but a little too small it became
a little too tight it hugged the skin
indentations imprinted
as if to mark its territory.
so a grip and a pull
to free oneself
like a bird in a gilded cage
but still a prisoner
no matter how pretty the shackles.
and then the final spring
a burst of beads flying
clattering to the marble ground
and running off in all directions
every harsh memory fading away.
no more is the wrist captive
no more can that beautiful disguise control
free, free, free
just as we always should have been.
free fall;
that endless plummeting downward
spiraling out of control
yet so focused and steady at the same
a journey that sees no end.
the blur of everything rushing by
a free fall with no direction and no purpose
but only existing for the sake
of existing
like everything else.
spiraling out of control
yet so focused and steady at the same
a journey that sees no end.
the blur of everything rushing by
a free fall with no direction and no purpose
but only existing for the sake
of existing
like everything else.
she wants to say she's sorry;
she wants to say she's sorry
that maybe she was looking in all the wrong places
for the one thing that did not exist
but right in front of her.
her hopes and aspirations
perhaps her standards
all too high
always seemingly out of reach.
that maybe she was looking in all the wrong places
for the one thing that did not exist
but right in front of her.
her hopes and aspirations
perhaps her standards
all too high
always seemingly out of reach.
blooming;
marriage and babies
seeing them grow up
those that i once knew as children.
shoot, where am i in my life
in terms of the 'ticking clock'
maternity has not set it
nor has a ring on my finger
no one to tickle my heart.
at this point
i can be content with being single
no connections or ties
just living freely for now.
but it does pinch
and it does ache, even just a little
to see the happy families blooming
right before my eyes.
seeing them grow up
those that i once knew as children.
shoot, where am i in my life
in terms of the 'ticking clock'
maternity has not set it
nor has a ring on my finger
no one to tickle my heart.
at this point
i can be content with being single
no connections or ties
just living freely for now.
but it does pinch
and it does ache, even just a little
to see the happy families blooming
right before my eyes.
it came so quick, so swift;
it came so quick, so swift
without warning
and out like a capped candle.
all the hopes, dreams, and ambitions
nothing but faded whispers in the wind
cut from the rest of the world
forever hanging in limbo.
so precious to give up
but brutally taken away
cruelly cut short
leaving behind agony.
hold on to it
as tight as possible
never let go
because when it strikes
there is no turning back.
without warning
and out like a capped candle.
all the hopes, dreams, and ambitions
nothing but faded whispers in the wind
cut from the rest of the world
forever hanging in limbo.
so precious to give up
but brutally taken away
cruelly cut short
leaving behind agony.
hold on to it
as tight as possible
never let go
because when it strikes
there is no turning back.
there were those happy memories;
there were those happy memories
of sitting around the christmas tree
opening presents, laughing gaily
spending time with beloved family.
those days have come and gone
lost in the past of time
disappearing somewhere in the darkness
collecting dust along the way.
it seem as if those feelings
will never lighten again
a flame that will forever kindle
dimly in our hearts.
maybe sometime in the future
it will slowly come to the forefront
and take its rightful place once again.
of sitting around the christmas tree
opening presents, laughing gaily
spending time with beloved family.
those days have come and gone
lost in the past of time
disappearing somewhere in the darkness
collecting dust along the way.
it seem as if those feelings
will never lighten again
a flame that will forever kindle
dimly in our hearts.
maybe sometime in the future
it will slowly come to the forefront
and take its rightful place once again.
the seas have parted;
the seas have parted
and we're slowly drifting away
on little boats in opposite
directions.
new adventures await us
but will we forget our past
the times spent with one another
as we embark on this next chapter?
and we're slowly drifting away
on little boats in opposite
directions.
new adventures await us
but will we forget our past
the times spent with one another
as we embark on this next chapter?
resisting temptation;
it's frustrating, really
how do i curb my thoughts
away from you.
resisting temptation is quite difficult
to keep myself from losing control
and falling down the hole.
i need the ropes and chains
to pull me back
to keep me from going over the edge
and failing myself.
help me end this
help me see pass this.
how do i curb my thoughts
away from you.
resisting temptation is quite difficult
to keep myself from losing control
and falling down the hole.
i need the ropes and chains
to pull me back
to keep me from going over the edge
and failing myself.
help me end this
help me see pass this.
laundry dance;
she does her laundry in her undies
because she has nothing else to wear
but she does it so prettily
without a single care.
where she is, she is free
in the safe haven of her home
blasting out the music
dancing happily
in tune with the washer.
and then it comes to a halt
the final little click from the machine
indicating the end of a cycle.
but never to fear
she has two more loads
and the fun will begin again.
because she has nothing else to wear
but she does it so prettily
without a single care.
where she is, she is free
in the safe haven of her home
blasting out the music
dancing happily
in tune with the washer.
and then it comes to a halt
the final little click from the machine
indicating the end of a cycle.
but never to fear
she has two more loads
and the fun will begin again.
i stop, i breath, i listen;
i stop, i breathe, i listen
to all the quiet around
searching out for the sound
that will shatter the glass that surrounds.
there is something ethereal
that science nor religion can explain
of finding that one star
hidden in the core
of our bodies.
it is something we cannot see
nor can we grasp in our hands
but only what we can feel
by simply listening to ourselves.
it is different for you and i
each person for their own
it reflects who we are
unique in every way.
to all the quiet around
searching out for the sound
that will shatter the glass that surrounds.
there is something ethereal
that science nor religion can explain
of finding that one star
hidden in the core
of our bodies.
it is something we cannot see
nor can we grasp in our hands
but only what we can feel
by simply listening to ourselves.
it is different for you and i
each person for their own
it reflects who we are
unique in every way.
she wishes;
she wishes she waited, saved it
and didn't through it away
haphazardly
where did that control disappear
one thing led to another
and finally pass the boundaries
like sand slipping through fingers
a bit of guilt gnaws continuously
year after year, anytime it came close
why didn't she wait
why couldn't she wait
and didn't through it away
haphazardly
where did that control disappear
one thing led to another
and finally pass the boundaries
like sand slipping through fingers
a bit of guilt gnaws continuously
year after year, anytime it came close
why didn't she wait
why couldn't she wait
when she was young;
when she was young
she could climb the countertops
to reach the cookie jar
from the highest cabinet.
when she was young
she could run for hours outside
without ever breaking a sweat.
when she was young
she could create vivid characters
play make-believe to her heart's content
without every worrying about the world.
when she was young
she could hardly wait for new years eve
the only day she could stay up past
her ten o'clock bedtime.
when she was young
boys had cooties and germs
and were perfect targets
for chasing on the playground.
when she was young
she could almost do a three-sixty
while swinging on the swings
right after downing cartons of milk.
when she was young
she would spend the summer evenings
catching fireflies to light her dreams
at night before going to sleep.
when she was young
she could remember going to bed at night
content and happy, waiting for the new day
and all the adventures it would bring.
but now, she is older
she has grown more mature
and has left childhood behind
to be remembered only in memories.
the responsibilities of life has come
far too quickly
but all too exciting.
a new chapter may have opened
a new door may have unlocked
but all that she learned from childhood
although faded in the distant
she would carry on forever.
she could climb the countertops
to reach the cookie jar
from the highest cabinet.
when she was young
she could run for hours outside
without ever breaking a sweat.
when she was young
she could create vivid characters
play make-believe to her heart's content
without every worrying about the world.
when she was young
she could hardly wait for new years eve
the only day she could stay up past
her ten o'clock bedtime.
when she was young
boys had cooties and germs
and were perfect targets
for chasing on the playground.
when she was young
she could almost do a three-sixty
while swinging on the swings
right after downing cartons of milk.
when she was young
she would spend the summer evenings
catching fireflies to light her dreams
at night before going to sleep.
when she was young
she could remember going to bed at night
content and happy, waiting for the new day
and all the adventures it would bring.
but now, she is older
she has grown more mature
and has left childhood behind
to be remembered only in memories.
the responsibilities of life has come
far too quickly
but all too exciting.
a new chapter may have opened
a new door may have unlocked
but all that she learned from childhood
although faded in the distant
she would carry on forever.
i can remember;
i can remember
you were once so little
an infant i held in my arms
albeit clumsily as a seven year old is.
then i saw you again
you were not much older than i was
when i first met you.
under very hard circumstances our second encounter
so again, you probably could not
remember me.
now you have grown up
so much older you have become
slowly becoming the man you are to be
and i know you more than likely
cannot remember me.
sadly but honestly
we will probably never meet again
unless another incident draws us back together
and there will be one or two more times
that i can see being a possibility
though those thoughts are hard to think about.
we may be tied by blood
but we will live like strangers
however unfortunate that may be.
you were once so little
an infant i held in my arms
albeit clumsily as a seven year old is.
then i saw you again
you were not much older than i was
when i first met you.
under very hard circumstances our second encounter
so again, you probably could not
remember me.
now you have grown up
so much older you have become
slowly becoming the man you are to be
and i know you more than likely
cannot remember me.
sadly but honestly
we will probably never meet again
unless another incident draws us back together
and there will be one or two more times
that i can see being a possibility
though those thoughts are hard to think about.
we may be tied by blood
but we will live like strangers
however unfortunate that may be.
lost time;
i will lazily watch the days pass on by
one after another
blissfully unaware at how fast they go
simply counting my current blessings.
but will i be too absorbed
to notice the changes around me
and within myself.
will i be too preoccupied
to realize all the dreams i once had
perhaps now out of reach.
in my old age with my aching fingers
will i still be staring out of the window
watching the clouds roll by
wondering what had happened
to lost time?
one after another
blissfully unaware at how fast they go
simply counting my current blessings.
but will i be too absorbed
to notice the changes around me
and within myself.
will i be too preoccupied
to realize all the dreams i once had
perhaps now out of reach.
in my old age with my aching fingers
will i still be staring out of the window
watching the clouds roll by
wondering what had happened
to lost time?
new day;
it's a new day
the sun is shining
and the sky is blue
not a cloud in sight.
hope is re-ignited
dreams are revived
and it's a clean slate
before us.
the sun is shining
and the sky is blue
not a cloud in sight.
hope is re-ignited
dreams are revived
and it's a clean slate
before us.
first code;
i remember stepping into the room
and stepping right back out
the frenzy commotion a bit overwhelming
as a medical staff battles
death cloaked in a cardiac arrest.
i can see his face still
lying on his hospital bed
his eyes still open
but focused on nothing
as they intubated him.
medication after medication
prepackaged and already prepared
to push as quickly as possible
and compressing the heart to circulate.
time seemed to stand still
and i held my breath
screaming in my head
chanting my own nonsensical prayer.
and then i was thrust into their world
relieving compressions for another
a completely different sensation from a mannequin.
my arms did not fall off
nor did my concentration break.
everything seemed methodical
but my brain a train wreck.
he couldn't make it
and i can see so clearly his head and face
turning blue, becoming cyanotic
permanently.
i cried
i cried for all that i could not do
i cried for the life that was stolen
i cried for everything.
this is why i am here, is it not
this is why i am in school, is it not.
but it seems so surreal
goodbyes are never easy
though pain will subside with time
but seeing death stays with you
for eternity.
i will never forget.
i cannot forget.
and stepping right back out
the frenzy commotion a bit overwhelming
as a medical staff battles
death cloaked in a cardiac arrest.
i can see his face still
lying on his hospital bed
his eyes still open
but focused on nothing
as they intubated him.
medication after medication
prepackaged and already prepared
to push as quickly as possible
and compressing the heart to circulate.
time seemed to stand still
and i held my breath
screaming in my head
chanting my own nonsensical prayer.
and then i was thrust into their world
relieving compressions for another
a completely different sensation from a mannequin.
my arms did not fall off
nor did my concentration break.
everything seemed methodical
but my brain a train wreck.
he couldn't make it
and i can see so clearly his head and face
turning blue, becoming cyanotic
permanently.
i cried
i cried for all that i could not do
i cried for the life that was stolen
i cried for everything.
this is why i am here, is it not
this is why i am in school, is it not.
but it seems so surreal
goodbyes are never easy
though pain will subside with time
but seeing death stays with you
for eternity.
i will never forget.
i cannot forget.
simple times;
she trips down the flowered fields
laughing gaily, hair tossing in the wind
relishing the present with no worries to burden her.
a breath of fresh air fill her lungs
all the beauty in the world
being balled up onto one exchange of gases
mixed in somewhere with the oxygen.
it is a wonderful moment to pause
to replay the memories over and over again
of simple times spent outside the box
and seeing all that life can offer.
laughing gaily, hair tossing in the wind
relishing the present with no worries to burden her.
a breath of fresh air fill her lungs
all the beauty in the world
being balled up onto one exchange of gases
mixed in somewhere with the oxygen.
it is a wonderful moment to pause
to replay the memories over and over again
of simple times spent outside the box
and seeing all that life can offer.
pretty little flower;
pretty little flower
swaying on the grassy hill
in the spotlight of life
but all alone.
the yellow petals flutter in the wind
as if beckoning you to come
waiting the little bee to pollinate
and perhaps spread its word.
it is a beauty hidden away
unknown, nonexistent
awaiting discovery
so that it may finally prove to the world
its worth.
swaying on the grassy hill
in the spotlight of life
but all alone.
the yellow petals flutter in the wind
as if beckoning you to come
waiting the little bee to pollinate
and perhaps spread its word.
it is a beauty hidden away
unknown, nonexistent
awaiting discovery
so that it may finally prove to the world
its worth.
a winding road;
a winding road
along the countryside
with fields that stretch
as far as the eye can see.
a pathway to a destination
where to, no one knows
but a place that the heart
can most definitely follow.
the worn mosaic walkway
paints a picture of dreams
illuminating the hopes
of those who walked before.
every person will take this path
no one will be left behind.
it is a journey we must all take
before we can begin to live.
along the countryside
with fields that stretch
as far as the eye can see.
a pathway to a destination
where to, no one knows
but a place that the heart
can most definitely follow.
the worn mosaic walkway
paints a picture of dreams
illuminating the hopes
of those who walked before.
every person will take this path
no one will be left behind.
it is a journey we must all take
before we can begin to live.
lifeless vessel;
lying there
under the support of many
trying to bring him back
from where he went.
a high of emotions
but ever so focused
and concentrating with every willpower.
but in the end
futile
and difficult to cope
to see the end
and a lifeless vessel.
under the support of many
trying to bring him back
from where he went.
a high of emotions
but ever so focused
and concentrating with every willpower.
but in the end
futile
and difficult to cope
to see the end
and a lifeless vessel.
a broken promise;
a promise
that ran so deep and so true
destroyed, shattered
broken and dying
left alone on the cold ground.
the pain and grief of betrayal
stings like no other
piercing the heart and arresting the soul
until a single breath could no longer be drawn.
cruelty is in high abundance
present behind every corner
and all you can do is stand your ground
gather up the courage to fight
even if you fail
over and over again.
that ran so deep and so true
destroyed, shattered
broken and dying
left alone on the cold ground.
the pain and grief of betrayal
stings like no other
piercing the heart and arresting the soul
until a single breath could no longer be drawn.
cruelty is in high abundance
present behind every corner
and all you can do is stand your ground
gather up the courage to fight
even if you fail
over and over again.
open door;
the door is opened
ajar, but still the breeze can pass
through the cracks
like a fresh morning.
all the dreams
all the hopes
and all the fears
lie right behind that door
and it is waiting
for everyone who has ever loved
who has ever cried
who has ever lived.
so many are afraid of what is lying before them
the lives of their past
the paths they have trod
will it come back to haunt them tenfold?
no one is all knowing
we cannot predict the future
but we can rely on our hearts
to lead us through that door
and discover what we have been missing.
ajar, but still the breeze can pass
through the cracks
like a fresh morning.
all the dreams
all the hopes
and all the fears
lie right behind that door
and it is waiting
for everyone who has ever loved
who has ever cried
who has ever lived.
so many are afraid of what is lying before them
the lives of their past
the paths they have trod
will it come back to haunt them tenfold?
no one is all knowing
we cannot predict the future
but we can rely on our hearts
to lead us through that door
and discover what we have been missing.
one step at a time;
i am just taking it
one step at a time
so that if i trip over the cracks
i can have enough time
to break my fall.
fast-paced and busy
is hard for my brain to wrap around
i need it slow and easy
so that i can follow and comprehend.
so little by little
i will inch forward
even if it takes me an eternity
i will reach my goal
soon enough.
one step at a time
so that if i trip over the cracks
i can have enough time
to break my fall.
fast-paced and busy
is hard for my brain to wrap around
i need it slow and easy
so that i can follow and comprehend.
so little by little
i will inch forward
even if it takes me an eternity
i will reach my goal
soon enough.
the iceberg has tipped;
the iceberg has tipped
and it is sinking
down, down, down
never-ending.
how had it come so close
when did it arrive?
all the pressure on the point
must have been the final drive.
it's hard to keep up
slipping from my hands
like water through a sieve
unable to contain anything.
maybe next time
there will be a sign of warning
so i will not succumb to a titanic sink
and maybe, maybe
i can keep my head above water.
and it is sinking
down, down, down
never-ending.
how had it come so close
when did it arrive?
all the pressure on the point
must have been the final drive.
it's hard to keep up
slipping from my hands
like water through a sieve
unable to contain anything.
maybe next time
there will be a sign of warning
so i will not succumb to a titanic sink
and maybe, maybe
i can keep my head above water.
because i was right;
a rolling spasm in my chest
waving out a guilty speck
no, no
i am not guilty
i am not in the wrong
i know it
attitudes and presentations
first impressions
and angry words
it's creeping up, up, up
from my chest
sloughing up my esophagus
squash it down because i am not wrong
i did nothing wrong
but you've made me like this
twisting a one-eighty
with the gun pointed at me
so you think you've won
maybe you have
so you think you're high and mighty
but you are not
you are not better than me
because i was right
honest and true
waving out a guilty speck
no, no
i am not guilty
i am not in the wrong
i know it
attitudes and presentations
first impressions
and angry words
it's creeping up, up, up
from my chest
sloughing up my esophagus
squash it down because i am not wrong
i did nothing wrong
but you've made me like this
twisting a one-eighty
with the gun pointed at me
so you think you've won
maybe you have
so you think you're high and mighty
but you are not
you are not better than me
because i was right
honest and true
dishonest practice;
so angry, trying to fight it
to hold the tears at bay
and failing miserably.
cheated and lied to
in the wrong, i think not
but people will still
have their way.
unjust, unfair
a stressor unnecessary
frustrated beyond words
and exhausted.
take it, take it all
take all your dishonest practice wants
don't tell me to not talk to you like that
i'll talk how i want
when you are the one that drive me
to the edge.
to hold the tears at bay
and failing miserably.
cheated and lied to
in the wrong, i think not
but people will still
have their way.
unjust, unfair
a stressor unnecessary
frustrated beyond words
and exhausted.
take it, take it all
take all your dishonest practice wants
don't tell me to not talk to you like that
i'll talk how i want
when you are the one that drive me
to the edge.
skinny little girl;
skinny little girl
in her skinny little dress
black of course, little black dress
double zeros on the tag.
a look in the mirror shows the fatigue
on her face, dark circles under her eyes
the stress of keeping up with the norms
and the fads that determine beauty.
sunken eyes stare back at her
the little ribs poking from her sides
underwear barely clinging on her bony hips
and an empty bra stuffed with socks
like she once did with mommy's things
as a child so many years ago.
the brittle hair on her head
once the fame and glory of her world
now dull and lifeless
like the eyes that count the calories
and the hours she ran, ran, ran
ran the pounds down until
nothing was left.
all she wanted was to be beautiful
to be like the super models on the runway
catwalking their designer clothes
so proud, so powerful
so deadly an illusion can be.
she was a radiant girl full of health
the girl of every boy's dream
but oblivious she was
to their desperate attempts to woo her.
her mind was always elsewhere
always preoccupied with food, exercise, and image.
she wilted away from the world
and as the pounds melted
her obsession grew
seemingly sucking up the falling weight.
and she was determined, oh so determined
to fortify her dreams of becoming the ideal
the distorted reality becoming the center of her universe.
she pinched the nonexistent flab
the muffin top she saw so clearly in her head
and she began to formulate a plan
to start another day's worth
of shedding her skin.
in her skinny little dress
black of course, little black dress
double zeros on the tag.
a look in the mirror shows the fatigue
on her face, dark circles under her eyes
the stress of keeping up with the norms
and the fads that determine beauty.
sunken eyes stare back at her
the little ribs poking from her sides
underwear barely clinging on her bony hips
and an empty bra stuffed with socks
like she once did with mommy's things
as a child so many years ago.
the brittle hair on her head
once the fame and glory of her world
now dull and lifeless
like the eyes that count the calories
and the hours she ran, ran, ran
ran the pounds down until
nothing was left.
all she wanted was to be beautiful
to be like the super models on the runway
catwalking their designer clothes
so proud, so powerful
so deadly an illusion can be.
she was a radiant girl full of health
the girl of every boy's dream
but oblivious she was
to their desperate attempts to woo her.
her mind was always elsewhere
always preoccupied with food, exercise, and image.
she wilted away from the world
and as the pounds melted
her obsession grew
seemingly sucking up the falling weight.
and she was determined, oh so determined
to fortify her dreams of becoming the ideal
the distorted reality becoming the center of her universe.
she pinched the nonexistent flab
the muffin top she saw so clearly in her head
and she began to formulate a plan
to start another day's worth
of shedding her skin.
she wants;
she wants you to tell her she is beautiful
not hot, sexy or a babe
she wants you to tell her she is passionate
not wild, a party child or an attention-seeker
she wants you to tell her she is a lover
not a quick fix or a skank in bed
she wants for nothing more than to share everything
without you seeing her as a one-night stand
not hot, sexy or a babe
she wants you to tell her she is passionate
not wild, a party child or an attention-seeker
she wants you to tell her she is a lover
not a quick fix or a skank in bed
she wants for nothing more than to share everything
without you seeing her as a one-night stand
wake up world, the sun is rising;
wake up world, the sun is rising
the breaking of a new dawn is coming
the day is beginning
wash away the dreams
chase away the nightmares
open your eyes to a clean slate
to sketch the rest of your day
every day is a new one
an empty canvas just waiting to be painted
by the artist who lives it
beginning at the break of dawn.
the breaking of a new dawn is coming
the day is beginning
wash away the dreams
chase away the nightmares
open your eyes to a clean slate
to sketch the rest of your day
every day is a new one
an empty canvas just waiting to be painted
by the artist who lives it
beginning at the break of dawn.
parasitic leech;
it's like a snake
slithering in my soul
invading my deepest secrets
it hunts and preys
on the darkest of memories
hoping to bring out
the worst in me.
most definitely not a friend
truly a foe at heart
picking at the broken slivers
finding the buttons to push
to drive me to the edge.
get out, get out
it is not wanted
i try so desperately to banish it
from the depths from which it came.
but it refuses to leave
a parasitic leech
with a hunger so deep
all i can do i try to keep it concealed
before it ruins everything.
slithering in my soul
invading my deepest secrets
it hunts and preys
on the darkest of memories
hoping to bring out
the worst in me.
most definitely not a friend
truly a foe at heart
picking at the broken slivers
finding the buttons to push
to drive me to the edge.
get out, get out
it is not wanted
i try so desperately to banish it
from the depths from which it came.
but it refuses to leave
a parasitic leech
with a hunger so deep
all i can do i try to keep it concealed
before it ruins everything.
box of treasures;
a box of treasures hidden under the bed
tucked away and long forgotten
keeping its solitude until the time was right
to take a look inside
is to take a walk down memory lane
a photo or two, here and there
small mementos to you from them
some things in that treasure box
hard to remember where the came from
and even harder
why they are there
the many years from childhood to adulthood
and everything in between
led to the present
shaping you into who you are today
all the secrets deep inside
you carry them to your dying day
the box of treasures you hold dear
to follow you into the afterlife.
tucked away and long forgotten
keeping its solitude until the time was right
to take a look inside
is to take a walk down memory lane
a photo or two, here and there
small mementos to you from them
some things in that treasure box
hard to remember where the came from
and even harder
why they are there
the many years from childhood to adulthood
and everything in between
led to the present
shaping you into who you are today
all the secrets deep inside
you carry them to your dying day
the box of treasures you hold dear
to follow you into the afterlife.
beachy escape;
the beach
i need it, i crave it
a solitude escape
from the reality
that gives nothing
but headaches.
a mini-vacation
a hot-spot i seek
to replenish
my bruised soul
bared down to the ground.
a little 'away time'
for me, myself, and i
a trio of one
to reconnect with one another.
i need this, i want this
to relax, to play, to bask in the sun
and forget about everything
to focus on me.
i need it, i crave it
a solitude escape
from the reality
that gives nothing
but headaches.
a mini-vacation
a hot-spot i seek
to replenish
my bruised soul
bared down to the ground.
a little 'away time'
for me, myself, and i
a trio of one
to reconnect with one another.
i need this, i want this
to relax, to play, to bask in the sun
and forget about everything
to focus on me.
maybe it's just me;
a lot happens spontaneously
in the span of ten years.
amazing, this revelation
of what once was
and now is.
am i missing something here
i feel lost, my compass of life gone
somewhere in the depths of the sea.
am i slow, perhaps, biologically
for i am still single, and not a mother
though many i know
are on that path
with several under their belts
literally.
our childhood days are no longer present
we've left it all behind in the past
and shut the door, lock and key
either things really have changed
or maybe it's just me.
in the span of ten years.
amazing, this revelation
of what once was
and now is.
am i missing something here
i feel lost, my compass of life gone
somewhere in the depths of the sea.
am i slow, perhaps, biologically
for i am still single, and not a mother
though many i know
are on that path
with several under their belts
literally.
our childhood days are no longer present
we've left it all behind in the past
and shut the door, lock and key
either things really have changed
or maybe it's just me.
a thousand nights;
a thousand nights spent lying under the stars
just you and i, alone, together
synonymously in tune.
the matching beating of our hearts
a sinus rhythm
tick-tock, tick-tock
ba-dum, ba-dum
the pounding of drums
in our ears.
a deep breath and a long sigh
the only sounds amongst our screaming thoughts
audible by only us, alone
and no one else.
the stars twinkle high above us
as if winking at our jubilant charade
although no expression graces our faces
except for a tiny smile.
the stillness around us, except for nature
is a beautiful awakening
as we are the only ones in our world
making memories in quiet companionship.
just you and i, alone, together
synonymously in tune.
the matching beating of our hearts
a sinus rhythm
tick-tock, tick-tock
ba-dum, ba-dum
the pounding of drums
in our ears.
a deep breath and a long sigh
the only sounds amongst our screaming thoughts
audible by only us, alone
and no one else.
the stars twinkle high above us
as if winking at our jubilant charade
although no expression graces our faces
except for a tiny smile.
the stillness around us, except for nature
is a beautiful awakening
as we are the only ones in our world
making memories in quiet companionship.
the best friend's silence;
i'll keep my silence
i won't say a word
i'll the best friend
and watch from the sidelines
as i have for a hundred years.
i don't mind it at all
not at all, as you will never know.
i'll be your supporting rock
the anchor that binds you
so close and yet so far.
and when your heart is torn
the pieces shattered all around
i will lift you from the ground
pull you up, dust your knees
plant a kiss on your forehead
and tell you everything will be okay.
and in return i'll ask for nothing more
than for your love and respect
your understanding of my turmoil
of seeing you in another's embrace
time and time again.
and i pray for the day
that you will maybe see me
as something more
than a shoulder for your head to lay.
i won't say a word
i'll the best friend
and watch from the sidelines
as i have for a hundred years.
i don't mind it at all
not at all, as you will never know.
i'll be your supporting rock
the anchor that binds you
so close and yet so far.
and when your heart is torn
the pieces shattered all around
i will lift you from the ground
pull you up, dust your knees
plant a kiss on your forehead
and tell you everything will be okay.
and in return i'll ask for nothing more
than for your love and respect
your understanding of my turmoil
of seeing you in another's embrace
time and time again.
and i pray for the day
that you will maybe see me
as something more
than a shoulder for your head to lay.
temptation;
i told myself i wasn't
nope, wasn't going to do that
no, no, no
i will not succumb.
oh, there i went
i did it, what i said i wouldn't
i let myself fall
into temptation.
how to get out of it now?
maybe, it will be okay
in the end, maybe it will work itself out?
have i dug a hole that i cannot climb from
have i lost the meaning to all of this
have i lost sight
has it disappeared?
no, it will be okay
i have to believe
that things will set its course
in the right direction.
after all, it always does
doesn't it?
nope, wasn't going to do that
no, no, no
i will not succumb.
oh, there i went
i did it, what i said i wouldn't
i let myself fall
into temptation.
how to get out of it now?
maybe, it will be okay
in the end, maybe it will work itself out?
have i dug a hole that i cannot climb from
have i lost the meaning to all of this
have i lost sight
has it disappeared?
no, it will be okay
i have to believe
that things will set its course
in the right direction.
after all, it always does
doesn't it?
rates of time;
time is linear, that we know
but how do alternate realities compare
to our own passing clocks?
are their minutes our hours?
or their days our years?
if rates between worlds, realities
differ greatly
wouldn't we live longer in one
and die quicker in another?
perhaps we would have no understanding
of the inner workings of time
and therefore not see nor feel the difference
of the rates of time
until we pass through another place.
maybe like the pevensie children of c.s. lewis' creation
we grow, flourish, and age in one world
while coming back into the other
just as we were at the beginning.
but how do alternate realities compare
to our own passing clocks?
are their minutes our hours?
or their days our years?
if rates between worlds, realities
differ greatly
wouldn't we live longer in one
and die quicker in another?
perhaps we would have no understanding
of the inner workings of time
and therefore not see nor feel the difference
of the rates of time
until we pass through another place.
maybe like the pevensie children of c.s. lewis' creation
we grow, flourish, and age in one world
while coming back into the other
just as we were at the beginning.
falling;
falling, falling, falling
downward and spiraling
a million feet left to go
from this hot-air balloon drop.
the rush of colors from all around
as we hold on desperately
hurtling forward
lost with no direction.
we'll wait for the end of the ride
the end of the ride, the end.
we'll bow and curtsy to each other
you in your spiffy solid black tuxedo
and me in my girlish aubergine party dress.
our laughter becomes our serenade
the skipping beats of our hearts
becoming the music to which we dance
watched by smiling stars
that shine from above.
and we'll wait for the end of the ride
the end of the ride, the end.
however farther we have left to go
a million feet, a million seconds
a million years
we will have each other, beautiful company
twirling our dances
until the end, the end of the ride
the end of time.
downward and spiraling
a million feet left to go
from this hot-air balloon drop.
the rush of colors from all around
as we hold on desperately
hurtling forward
lost with no direction.
we'll wait for the end of the ride
the end of the ride, the end.
we'll bow and curtsy to each other
you in your spiffy solid black tuxedo
and me in my girlish aubergine party dress.
our laughter becomes our serenade
the skipping beats of our hearts
becoming the music to which we dance
watched by smiling stars
that shine from above.
and we'll wait for the end of the ride
the end of the ride, the end.
however farther we have left to go
a million feet, a million seconds
a million years
we will have each other, beautiful company
twirling our dances
until the end, the end of the ride
the end of time.
end of the line;
i'm running down the ocean deep
the twinkling stars high above
my guides to the end of the rainbow
and the horizon that awaits me.
exhilarating yet just as frightening
the beating of my own heart
drowning out my racing thoughts
pumping on adrenaline
to reach the end of the line.
and the biggest question lies here
what will i find when i reach the pinnacle
what tunnel will open for me
and will i like what i see?
the twinkling stars high above
my guides to the end of the rainbow
and the horizon that awaits me.
exhilarating yet just as frightening
the beating of my own heart
drowning out my racing thoughts
pumping on adrenaline
to reach the end of the line.
and the biggest question lies here
what will i find when i reach the pinnacle
what tunnel will open for me
and will i like what i see?
rejuvenate;
Hot, stuffy, suffocating
I can hardly breath
Becoming quite short of breath
And seemingly close to death.
Pull me out of here
And dip me into the sea
Let me nourish my wasted body
Help me rejuvenate my soul.
I can hardly breath
Becoming quite short of breath
And seemingly close to death.
Pull me out of here
And dip me into the sea
Let me nourish my wasted body
Help me rejuvenate my soul.
hard to concentrate;
Sometimes it is hard to concentrate
Losing myself in my reverie
As the lecture goes in one ear
And out the other
Collecting dust along the way.
A really bad habit it becomes
Especially as spring begins to near.
The sunshine and warm breeze
Calls out to me, begging me
To come out and play.
Losing myself in my reverie
As the lecture goes in one ear
And out the other
Collecting dust along the way.
A really bad habit it becomes
Especially as spring begins to near.
The sunshine and warm breeze
Calls out to me, begging me
To come out and play.
little things;
the little things in life
sometimes make everything alright
bringing light into the day
and hope to the future.
sometimes it's just a breath of fresh air
a breeze carried from afar
that reminds us to keep looking forward
to the greener grass
that denotes a far better horizon.
sometimes make everything alright
bringing light into the day
and hope to the future.
sometimes it's just a breath of fresh air
a breeze carried from afar
that reminds us to keep looking forward
to the greener grass
that denotes a far better horizon.
regrets;
regrets
maybes, what ifs
i should have
maybe
those moments of the past
that had us at hello
but we brushed them away
only to finally realize
the beauty in them
maybe we are weak
and so, did not pursue
such life-changing journeys
are we afraid
of consequences that may bestow
upon our already chaotic lives
maybe, what ifs, i should have
everything i never could do
and future opportunities absent
maybes, what ifs
i should have
maybe
those moments of the past
that had us at hello
but we brushed them away
only to finally realize
the beauty in them
maybe we are weak
and so, did not pursue
such life-changing journeys
are we afraid
of consequences that may bestow
upon our already chaotic lives
maybe, what ifs, i should have
everything i never could do
and future opportunities absent
i remember;
i remember
the years gone by
the memories that have faded
rushing back like a flooded dam.
the sounds, the sights, the sensations
feeling them reverberate though my body
a war of neuronic signals
forcing me be a witness.
such wonderful, beautiful times
such precious memories
nothing more but dust in the past
that will soon be forgotten
all over again.
the years gone by
the memories that have faded
rushing back like a flooded dam.
the sounds, the sights, the sensations
feeling them reverberate though my body
a war of neuronic signals
forcing me be a witness.
such wonderful, beautiful times
such precious memories
nothing more but dust in the past
that will soon be forgotten
all over again.
pandora's box;
it's an open door
waiting for you, and only you,
continuously, for a hundred years.
standing ever so strong
prevailing the darkest of storms
holding its ground
for as long as needed.
it will not push you
but let you decide
when you think the time is right
to delve inside
and face your pandora's box.
waiting for you, and only you,
continuously, for a hundred years.
standing ever so strong
prevailing the darkest of storms
holding its ground
for as long as needed.
it will not push you
but let you decide
when you think the time is right
to delve inside
and face your pandora's box.
karma;
what goes around, comes around
you will get your taste of karma
and see reality in the mirror.
do you like it
is this who you wanted to be
are you proud?
at least now, you do not have to hide
we all know who you are behind the mask.
you will get your taste of karma
and see reality in the mirror.
do you like it
is this who you wanted to be
are you proud?
at least now, you do not have to hide
we all know who you are behind the mask.
continue forward;
if we persevere, maybe we can get through
maybe the satellites above will emit
the signals that will lead us home
wherever it may be.
sometimes it seems hopeless
no finish line to the long road ahead
miles and miles stretched out before you
a deserted destiny.
but how far can you go?
how long will you withstand the pressure
and do you think you are cut out for it.
sometimes it is not whether you have the money
or the means, the transportation, the luxuries.
sometimes it is all simply internal:
do you have the willpower
do you have the determination
do you have the dream
to continue forward?
maybe the satellites above will emit
the signals that will lead us home
wherever it may be.
sometimes it seems hopeless
no finish line to the long road ahead
miles and miles stretched out before you
a deserted destiny.
but how far can you go?
how long will you withstand the pressure
and do you think you are cut out for it.
sometimes it is not whether you have the money
or the means, the transportation, the luxuries.
sometimes it is all simply internal:
do you have the willpower
do you have the determination
do you have the dream
to continue forward?
pull me down;
pull me down
level me with the ground
as i am floating helplessly above
in between passing clouds.
up or down is irrelevant
i am twirling a three-sixty
in and out i will float.
cut me down from the balloon
the imaginary osmotic pull
like nutrients going from tissue to capillaries
i am being pulled further and further away.
bring me down
keep me here
don't let go.
level me with the ground
as i am floating helplessly above
in between passing clouds.
up or down is irrelevant
i am twirling a three-sixty
in and out i will float.
cut me down from the balloon
the imaginary osmotic pull
like nutrients going from tissue to capillaries
i am being pulled further and further away.
bring me down
keep me here
don't let go.
academia;
academia, you mock me so
put my mind through a tornado
leaving me to pick up the debris
that you strewed so haphazardly.
a failure you make me appear to be
distorting the only vision i can see
having me question my ability
and destroying confidence brutally.
falling, falling, falling
you left me dangling off a cliff
leaving me to scream and wish
for a different tune to sing.
i'll thank you for deserting me
in my desperate time of need.
i didn't need you anyhow
and this path i will walk alone now.
put my mind through a tornado
leaving me to pick up the debris
that you strewed so haphazardly.
a failure you make me appear to be
distorting the only vision i can see
having me question my ability
and destroying confidence brutally.
falling, falling, falling
you left me dangling off a cliff
leaving me to scream and wish
for a different tune to sing.
i'll thank you for deserting me
in my desperate time of need.
i didn't need you anyhow
and this path i will walk alone now.
it's steadily getting worse;
it's steadily getting worse
like a water dam ready to burst
and drown the surrounding towns
dimming the flickering
lights of my life.
disappointment fills my chest
peaking with a lump
in the hollow of my neck
as i feel the strain of being ashamed.
it's my fault, i know
but for all the wrong reasons
as the connections between neurons
no longer flow
as they should.
maybe i am not cut out for this
maybe it is out of my league
maybe i need to embark on a new path
and foster a new destination.
like a water dam ready to burst
and drown the surrounding towns
dimming the flickering
lights of my life.
disappointment fills my chest
peaking with a lump
in the hollow of my neck
as i feel the strain of being ashamed.
it's my fault, i know
but for all the wrong reasons
as the connections between neurons
no longer flow
as they should.
maybe i am not cut out for this
maybe it is out of my league
maybe i need to embark on a new path
and foster a new destination.
failed promises;
Failed promises
And shattered dreams
Trying so desperately
To pick up the broken pieces.
And shattered dreams
Trying so desperately
To pick up the broken pieces.
i am not one to;
i am not one to paint my face
to hide the scars and the imperfections
that grace my person.
i am not one to hide behind in shame
to put up a different front
or to conduct a new personality.
i am not one to turn a head
nor a blind eye to the issues that matter
no matter how trivial or insignificant they may be.
i am not one to turn my back
on the world that fostered my being.
i am not one to lose sight
on everything that ever mattered.
to hide the scars and the imperfections
that grace my person.
i am not one to hide behind in shame
to put up a different front
or to conduct a new personality.
i am not one to turn a head
nor a blind eye to the issues that matter
no matter how trivial or insignificant they may be.
i am not one to turn my back
on the world that fostered my being.
i am not one to lose sight
on everything that ever mattered.
young, uninhibited and free;
i remember when i was eighteen
young, uninhibited and free
without a care in the world
relishing in the beauty of life.
a long time since then
and a long way to have come
in the span of only five years.
much calmer, rational
less spontaneous
growing a calm head on the shoulders
and taking things slow.
is this what it feel like to grow up
to see things in a different light
to be standing on the other spectrum
becoming the responsible adult?
it's a new sensation
somewhat surreal
but empowering at the same time
entering a new stage in life
and having to say goodbye to another.
young, uninhibited and free
without a care in the world
relishing in the beauty of life.
a long time since then
and a long way to have come
in the span of only five years.
much calmer, rational
less spontaneous
growing a calm head on the shoulders
and taking things slow.
is this what it feel like to grow up
to see things in a different light
to be standing on the other spectrum
becoming the responsible adult?
it's a new sensation
somewhat surreal
but empowering at the same time
entering a new stage in life
and having to say goodbye to another.
a million things;
a million things i want to say
a thousand words i need to hear
a hundred heartbeats i'll endure
until i can controvert the fear.
a million times i have sighed
a thousand memories i have cried
a hundred nights i have stayed awake
because of you, my world was shaken.
a thousand words i need to hear
a hundred heartbeats i'll endure
until i can controvert the fear.
a million times i have sighed
a thousand memories i have cried
a hundred nights i have stayed awake
because of you, my world was shaken.
it just keeps on coming;
it just keeps on coming
there is not an end to the stream
that is starting to drown me
in my little dwelling.
like the rain that splatters on the window panes
so does the ink from my pen
onto this stack of scrap
papers from what i need to focus upon.
and they still keep on flowing
marching a parade
into my world.
there is not an end to the stream
that is starting to drown me
in my little dwelling.
like the rain that splatters on the window panes
so does the ink from my pen
onto this stack of scrap
papers from what i need to focus upon.
and they still keep on flowing
marching a parade
into my world.
no time for rest or sleep;
the words becoming a blur
a black sea forming slowly
until it spreads across the page
and my line of vision.
heavy lids threatening to retreat
abandoning me in my battle
to regain a hold of consciousness
and fight to finish the race.
it's become so hard to focus
as my mind weakens and wanders
most definitely not focusing
on the important issue at hand.
come back to me, come back
we have to complete our task
there is no time for rest or sleep
until we climb out of this mountain deep
of educational pursuits.
a black sea forming slowly
until it spreads across the page
and my line of vision.
heavy lids threatening to retreat
abandoning me in my battle
to regain a hold of consciousness
and fight to finish the race.
it's become so hard to focus
as my mind weakens and wanders
most definitely not focusing
on the important issue at hand.
come back to me, come back
we have to complete our task
there is no time for rest or sleep
until we climb out of this mountain deep
of educational pursuits.
plant the seed;
they'll plant the seed
and help it grow
nurturing it to become
the beautiful flower it could be.
the taste of adventure
the allure of discovery
waiting just beyond the horizon
just barely out of reach
where dreams can become reality.
she'll rise up and spread her wings
as the morning sun dawns
and she will take flight
into the open skies
knowing her future has just begun.
and help it grow
nurturing it to become
the beautiful flower it could be.
the taste of adventure
the allure of discovery
waiting just beyond the horizon
just barely out of reach
where dreams can become reality.
she'll rise up and spread her wings
as the morning sun dawns
and she will take flight
into the open skies
knowing her future has just begun.
defy;
she said to them:
let your hair down
release your inhibitions
rise a rebellion
and defy discriminations.
always taking the back road
keeping out of sight
having not a voice
owning nothing in our own right.
behind the walls we had stood
clouded in darkness as we should
according to society's norms
we must unwillingly conform.
but slowly and surely
we shall have our limelight
and we will join forces and reject
every conniving right.
stand together and stand straight
as a whole, our spirit they cannot break
triumphant we can become
as long as we unite as one.
let your hair down
release your inhibitions
rise a rebellion
and defy discriminations.
always taking the back road
keeping out of sight
having not a voice
owning nothing in our own right.
behind the walls we had stood
clouded in darkness as we should
according to society's norms
we must unwillingly conform.
but slowly and surely
we shall have our limelight
and we will join forces and reject
every conniving right.
stand together and stand straight
as a whole, our spirit they cannot break
triumphant we can become
as long as we unite as one.
lost, gone, stolen;
it's lost, gone, stolen
bring it back
i need it
i covet it.
where is it
i've turned the world
upside down
in the search.
perhaps i'll never see it
forever gone
lost, lost, lost
and so alone.
bring it back
i need it
i covet it.
where is it
i've turned the world
upside down
in the search.
perhaps i'll never see it
forever gone
lost, lost, lost
and so alone.
but i thought wrong;
yeah, and so i thought
but i thought wrong
so much that it hurts
and is quite unbelievable.
but still, all will be well
it will continue on
i will learn to let go
and live without.
but i thought wrong
so much that it hurts
and is quite unbelievable.
but still, all will be well
it will continue on
i will learn to let go
and live without.
mannequin;
just a mannequin
controlled by strings
held by the hands
of another.
she'll do his bidding
mechanically but willingly
just to be in his graces.
but she is only being used
without gaining an ounce
of love, appreciation, adoration
from him.
she will become broken
an empty pile of wooden sticks
once her use has dissipated.
and he will continue on
forgetting his mannequin lover.
controlled by strings
held by the hands
of another.
she'll do his bidding
mechanically but willingly
just to be in his graces.
but she is only being used
without gaining an ounce
of love, appreciation, adoration
from him.
she will become broken
an empty pile of wooden sticks
once her use has dissipated.
and he will continue on
forgetting his mannequin lover.
little girl;
what happened to that little girl
who dominated the front
holding down the fort
her knees buried in the dirt.
she has started to change
to grow up
leaving behind childhood fancies
and embarking upon a new path
one meant for the experienced.
make-up, guys, drama
this is what her world revolves around
the axis on which it spins
sometimes wildly out of control.
the innocence that once was
is no more.
it has disappeared gradually
as all milestones of life tend to do.
into the back drop
boxed away in the attic
it doesn't fully disappear though, no.
it will still be waiting for her
when she decides to take a trip
down memory lane
and relish in nostalgia.
and perhaps then
the little girl who locked herself away
deep inside the heart
will start to come out play
if even for just a moment.
it is then that little girl
will live once again.
even if for just a moment.
who dominated the front
holding down the fort
her knees buried in the dirt.
she has started to change
to grow up
leaving behind childhood fancies
and embarking upon a new path
one meant for the experienced.
make-up, guys, drama
this is what her world revolves around
the axis on which it spins
sometimes wildly out of control.
the innocence that once was
is no more.
it has disappeared gradually
as all milestones of life tend to do.
into the back drop
boxed away in the attic
it doesn't fully disappear though, no.
it will still be waiting for her
when she decides to take a trip
down memory lane
and relish in nostalgia.
and perhaps then
the little girl who locked herself away
deep inside the heart
will start to come out play
if even for just a moment.
it is then that little girl
will live once again.
even if for just a moment.
wondering what is waiting for me;
again
here i am alone
in this dark quiet room
with my thoughts.
the creaking of the floor boards
under my bare-feet
as i pad across the hallway
searching for something
what, i do not know.
i take a walk outside
to tilt my head upward
staring at the starless sky
wondering what is waiting for me.
what does the future hold for me
wherein lies my destiny
do i have a purpose
or am i simply just here?
here i am alone
in this dark quiet room
with my thoughts.
the creaking of the floor boards
under my bare-feet
as i pad across the hallway
searching for something
what, i do not know.
i take a walk outside
to tilt my head upward
staring at the starless sky
wondering what is waiting for me.
what does the future hold for me
wherein lies my destiny
do i have a purpose
or am i simply just here?
she is the only one there again;
she is the only one there again
alone on the open road
with only the twinkling stars so very far away
to keep her company at the death of day.
there is not a sound where she is
no evening breeze to caress her hair
no moon to light upon her face so fair
but a lonely darkness dotted with specks
of burning stars.
a thunder crashes from all directions
but where, she does not know.
maybe it came from high above
or perhaps it is her beating heart
pounding in her chest
as it has for many ages.
and then she began to walk
on that open road of darkness
following a path that only her mind can see
hoping to find her heart's desire
whatever it may be.
alone on the open road
with only the twinkling stars so very far away
to keep her company at the death of day.
there is not a sound where she is
no evening breeze to caress her hair
no moon to light upon her face so fair
but a lonely darkness dotted with specks
of burning stars.
a thunder crashes from all directions
but where, she does not know.
maybe it came from high above
or perhaps it is her beating heart
pounding in her chest
as it has for many ages.
and then she began to walk
on that open road of darkness
following a path that only her mind can see
hoping to find her heart's desire
whatever it may be.
say goodbye;
we'll say goodbye to what we once knew
as everything begins to change
the friends we were once close with
now becoming strangers
as they drift further away from us.
like the sea that changes with the tide
our own lives are nonlinear
open to many branches of possibilities.
which one will we choose?
we walk along the fine middle line
teetering on a tightrope demonstration
trying to keep ourselves up
saving ourselves from plummeting to the ground.
and if we do fall from our pedestal
maybe we will fall into grace's arms
where we can pick up the pieces
say goodbye to the past
and start over again.
as everything begins to change
the friends we were once close with
now becoming strangers
as they drift further away from us.
like the sea that changes with the tide
our own lives are nonlinear
open to many branches of possibilities.
which one will we choose?
we walk along the fine middle line
teetering on a tightrope demonstration
trying to keep ourselves up
saving ourselves from plummeting to the ground.
and if we do fall from our pedestal
maybe we will fall into grace's arms
where we can pick up the pieces
say goodbye to the past
and start over again.
the smell of freshly cut grass;
the smell of freshly cut grass
is one of my favorites
the aromatic fragrance
inflating my lungs
and uplifting my spirits.
a walk around an open park
with children and dogs running amok
on a lush carpet of green grass
is a wonderful sight to behold.
sitting in meditation
with only my thoughts
and the sounds of nature
as my only companions
sets an idyllic stage.
it is during these times in which i feel alive
in which i feel rejuvenated
and love the glory that is called life.
is one of my favorites
the aromatic fragrance
inflating my lungs
and uplifting my spirits.
a walk around an open park
with children and dogs running amok
on a lush carpet of green grass
is a wonderful sight to behold.
sitting in meditation
with only my thoughts
and the sounds of nature
as my only companions
sets an idyllic stage.
it is during these times in which i feel alive
in which i feel rejuvenated
and love the glory that is called life.
changing seasons;
i can feel it
the change of the seasons.
there is something in the air
that brings back memories
from years ago.
there is something about it all
that is nostalgic and bittersweet
of the times that are fading from memory
so slowly, slowly
until they are nothing more than wisps
of color and emotion.
there is something about the way
the air fill me lungs
the sounds of passing cars
and smell of freshly cut grass
in the spring of summer.
children come out to play
from within the safe haven of their homes
into the beautiful sunshine
and glorious clear skies.
life emerges from winter's death
from the cold grip of snow
melting away until another year.
the change of the seasons.
there is something in the air
that brings back memories
from years ago.
there is something about it all
that is nostalgic and bittersweet
of the times that are fading from memory
so slowly, slowly
until they are nothing more than wisps
of color and emotion.
there is something about the way
the air fill me lungs
the sounds of passing cars
and smell of freshly cut grass
in the spring of summer.
children come out to play
from within the safe haven of their homes
into the beautiful sunshine
and glorious clear skies.
life emerges from winter's death
from the cold grip of snow
melting away until another year.
paint it black and white;
paint it black and white
because there is no grey
there is no in-between
there is only here and now.
your thoughts and feelings
are officially void
you are not your own person
you have no voice.
you say this is unfair
but this is the axis
on which the world revolves
continuously
as it has been doing
for a millennium.
you can scream and shout
you can rebel and demand revolution
but change will not come quickly
especially to those who turn a blind eye
content in the prison they have created.
yes or no, right or wrong
circumstances are nonexistent
maybes and what ifs
do not have a place in our society.
save yourself the humiliation and the stress
do not give yourself a headache.
follow the mainstream, fall into place
and live as we have been living
since the moment we entered the world.
because there is no grey
there is no in-between
there is only here and now.
your thoughts and feelings
are officially void
you are not your own person
you have no voice.
you say this is unfair
but this is the axis
on which the world revolves
continuously
as it has been doing
for a millennium.
you can scream and shout
you can rebel and demand revolution
but change will not come quickly
especially to those who turn a blind eye
content in the prison they have created.
yes or no, right or wrong
circumstances are nonexistent
maybes and what ifs
do not have a place in our society.
save yourself the humiliation and the stress
do not give yourself a headache.
follow the mainstream, fall into place
and live as we have been living
since the moment we entered the world.
balancing act;
it's a balancing act, they say
but i seem to be failing
quite spectacularly
it's hard to stay on the middle line
teetering at the edge
at risk for falling to the wrong side
does this tightrope event ever end?
is there level ground anywhere near?
but i seem to be failing
quite spectacularly
it's hard to stay on the middle line
teetering at the edge
at risk for falling to the wrong side
does this tightrope event ever end?
is there level ground anywhere near?
change;
is she dreaming too high
too ambitiously, to greatly
for her conservative society?
cringing with fear
they grimace at the thought
of advancement
from their traditional ways.
"it's time for change" she would cry
"it's time for our triumph" she would beat
into their thicken skulls
dusty from generations of placidity.
but can she win, can she rise above
and better the world around her?
or will the reluctance of her community
become her own enemy
and create a cage, an iron-hand prison
from which she can never escape?
too ambitiously, to greatly
for her conservative society?
cringing with fear
they grimace at the thought
of advancement
from their traditional ways.
"it's time for change" she would cry
"it's time for our triumph" she would beat
into their thicken skulls
dusty from generations of placidity.
but can she win, can she rise above
and better the world around her?
or will the reluctance of her community
become her own enemy
and create a cage, an iron-hand prison
from which she can never escape?
to the top;
slowly getting there
up, up, up the mountain she goes
clad in nothing but
her knickers and her soul.
she's baring everything she's got
every virtue and every pride inside
to the world she will show
who she really is
truly is.
and who will be there to greet her
when she finally reaches the pinnacle
where all her hopes and dreams lie
covered in a snowy storm.
will it be a god
who will bless her
and grant her eternal salvation.
or will it simply be the sun
high above in the sky
beating down on her its radiance.
like the radiance that blooms
from the fiery determination
in her eyes
up, up, up the mountain she goes
clad in nothing but
her knickers and her soul.
she's baring everything she's got
every virtue and every pride inside
to the world she will show
who she really is
truly is.
and who will be there to greet her
when she finally reaches the pinnacle
where all her hopes and dreams lie
covered in a snowy storm.
will it be a god
who will bless her
and grant her eternal salvation.
or will it simply be the sun
high above in the sky
beating down on her its radiance.
like the radiance that blooms
from the fiery determination
in her eyes
your entertainment;
i'm jumping through hoop rings
doing those circus things
tricks and unicycles
for your entertainment
do you like to see me jump around
like i'm under the imperio
bidding your every command
just to please you
enough is enough sometimes
you know?
sometimes i am tired
of being your shining star
maybe i just want to take the backseat
to this thing called life
just sometimes
only sometimes
[imperio = being controlled against one's will
harry potter reference]
doing those circus things
tricks and unicycles
for your entertainment
do you like to see me jump around
like i'm under the imperio
bidding your every command
just to please you
enough is enough sometimes
you know?
sometimes i am tired
of being your shining star
maybe i just want to take the backseat
to this thing called life
just sometimes
only sometimes
[imperio = being controlled against one's will
harry potter reference]
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