success;

success is a variable term
it differs for each individual
one may believe success equates to becoming president
while to another, putting food on the table for their family.

i have gone through my own trials and tribulations
i have experienced some things as a child
illegal occurrences that no child or human being
should ever be subjected to.

but it is true
what does not kill someone
can only make them stronger.

you may look at me
and say i am harden.
perhaps my environment made me to be
it was my method of protecting myself
from those who wished to do me harm.

hindsight is 20/20
in retrospect, the child i was should have said something
but as a child, we are frightened of the unknown
what consequences would be wrought
on our timid voice on the truth?

but that's okay now
wrongs cannot be righted
nor can they be forgiven
but they can be forgotten
left as a speck of dust
in the continuum of time
a memory that was nothing more
than a bad dream.

i have not strayed off a righteous path
i have not succumbed to drugs, alcohol, or prostitution
i did not decide my life was worthless.

on the contrary, i paved forward
i completed my education fully
i love the profession i have chosen
i love the friends who support me
i love the mother who raised me
who dropped everything for me
and did everything out of love.
i do not love the father who brought me into this world
but i do thank him for what he did everyday.
because without him leaving as he did
perhaps i would not have become the person who i am.

the future is always unknown
strayed pathways lead to different destinies
perhaps mine could have been better
but it could have also been much worse.

i thank whichever higher being for my life
and most of all
i thank myself, for without my will and determination
i would not be where i am today
and believe myself
to be a success.

obsession;

clinging to a thread-bare string
and obsession spiraling downward
until she's left hanging
dangerously close to tipping over the edge.

it is a consumption that is never sated
always drawing in more, more, more
like a delusional man searching for his oasis
in an endless slope of desert mirages.

fruitless desires that will always linger
never a break from emotional roller coasters
only in her dreams will there be rewards
only there will she be happy.