i want to run, far away;

i want to run, far away
off to a nowhere place
feet pounding
heart racing
and not stop until i have shed
every last fiber of my being.

i want to run, far away
and as i do
i take off the layers
one by one
my name
my past
my memories
i will let them fall
like raindrops on floating leaves
until they are absorbed into the ground.

and still i will run.

i will not stop
until my legs can no longer carry me
until i have sprinted to the edge of my sanity
where i will take a leap of faith
off my proverbial cliff
and fall not so gracefully
into the waiting waters below.

and then i will cleanse myself
until every last molecule that makes up my being
is doused and re-awaken.

it will be the time
to open my eyes
and revel in the new sunrise.

i saw those papers again;

i saw those papers again
and this time, i really took a look.
i guess technically
you were both at fault
both breaking the rules
fighting over one thing.

but still of course
animosity towards you
escalated
until my little heart wanted to pop
from increased pressure.

you are despicable
when i really think about it.
you would have tried far harder
had you truly cared.

spring;

beautiful, beautiful weather
clearest of clear skies
not a spot of white fluffiness
no marshmallow clouds to obscure
and the rustling of the trees
leaves dancing in the wind
whisper symphonies.

spring has come, spring has come
finally to grace us
after winter's cold, dark grasp
ice has melted
like a warming heart
chase the gloominess away.

the world is anew
bursting with life.

good morning, early morning;

good morning, early morning
before the crack of dawn
birds still sleeping
nestled in their nests
night creatures still stirring
scurrying around in sunday best
good morning, good morning
early morning
before the dawn
the sun still sleeps

but i am here to say hello

half-filled wine glass;

half-filled wine glass
discarded, abandoned
nothing but lost reminders
and empty promises

it's the same, over and over
paradoxical existence
a never ending circle.

hard to escape
and hard to see the light
but gotta try
gotta try.

renewed eyes;

dear world
just stop for a second
you're spinning too fast
i need to catch my breath
and take a look around.

my vision has been clouded
by dust particles spurned from the ground
the future shadowed and indecipherable
i've seen the light
i've seen the light.

it's like a heavy burden has been uplifted
like a drunk awoken from his alcoholic stupor
hangover dissipated and head clear
it's the dawning of a revelation
of epic proportions.

so just stop word, just stop
your axis can live with just one pause
so i can look upon you
with renewed eyes.

friendship;

brief moments in time spent laughing
over hot chocolate and caramel lattes
with friendships of old
that seems to never fade.

distance and years become prominent
we grow, we mature, we change
but there are some things ever constant
it's a beacon to which we cling
just to keep us grounded.

it is beautiful and cherished
the sunshine to our rainstorm
the bottle of love and happiness
this is friendship.

and so sleep evades;

and so sleep evades me once again
like peter pan desperately searching for his shadow
a never-ending game of hide-and-seek
it never wants to be found.

it's hard to count sheep who never stay put
or simply to shutdown the racing mind
impossible feats of self-heroic acts
slumber does not come easily.

somewhat of an insomniac
a sliver in the broad range
with erratic circadian rhythms
that too wish to call it quits.

eventually i will close my eyes
and sleep will come to grace me
but only to continue running a race in my dreams.

time;

time
is quite depressing, really
it never stops
it's a linear pathway
infinite.

i used to be able to count the years
that i have been alive
all on one hand
then two
and now i no longer have enough.

i see how old i will be
in the years in the future
and i am fearful of aging
i don't want to grow old
i want to stay young
forever.

getting older
means the ones i love
are aging as well.
and being organic organisms
we are not eternal
and we cannot live forever.
we must die and disappear from the earth
to make way for future generations
so that they may have a chance to live.

but i am still selfish
if there is an after life
i wish to remain here on earth
even as a ghost
so that i may be part of this world
despite no physical attachments.

but that sentiment too
is wishful thinking
and even if it were to be my destiny
it would be filled with sorrow
longing and resentment
of watching the young and healthy
the old and wise, alive
knowing that i can never truly be a part
when i am long dead.

skipping;

dreams and fantasy is where my mind lingers
oblivious to the calling of reality
i don't wish to go back
to that black hole, dark and cold.

it's cloud nine right here
no worries or troubles
an ease of mind
no dark thunder storms
to cloud my days.

i ignore the whistle of the train
the signal of the last boarding for the evening
there is no question of where it is heading
destination: reality.

i think it's okay to skip one more day.

chocolate;

chocolate
sweet delectable ambrosia
the chicken noodle soup to my soul
my private comfort.

you make everything better.

never deserved;

you were once cruel
your laughing jokes bordering on the line
and your relentless use of my body
it was just a relationship based on sex.

who do you think you were
toying with the mind of inexperience
was it just your idea of fun and games
no matter how much it hurt?

backstabbing with a flair for twisting the truth
you possess a scary mind and even scarier soul
i became afraid and desperate to hide
if only to avoid your gaze.

but it's been a long time now
since you last contacted me
to which of course i always ignored.

i see now how stupid i once was
to have given you time of day
when your mind and heart
you very being
was always elsewhere.

and now, i am grateful that it is
and i also thank you for what you did
because of your actions
you made me stronger
far more sure of what i definitely
do not wish to have in my life.

you were far beneath me
and never deserved to have me.

puzzle piece;

i haven't ever loved
where it pains me to see them go
where my heart rips from my chest
and is cut into a million pieces
as the romance dies.

none were very meaningful.
yes, there was happiness
and a fondness that captivates.
but only puppy love at its best.

something was always missing
a puzzle piece that was never there
leaving a gaping hole.
the picture that needed completion
never found the paint that bring it to life.

i want to find it
i know it is out there somewhere
i can almost touch it.

child that once was me;

i miss the exhilaration i once felt
so many, many years ago
as a child on a bike
riding over a wooden bridge
to get to the other side.

i can still hear the conversations
that children have among one another
and the memories they flood the brain
like a dam whose lever has broken.

such carefree days
days spent running amok in the sun
where adult troubles were nonexistent
and our only job was to grow.

those days have come and gone
all the children growing up and moving on.

how often do they revisit the past
their precious childhood
that society requires of us to do away with
as we face the world as adults.

i myself hold strong nostalgia to my past
because although they are now merely memories
their presence helps keep alive the child in me.

child that i once was
child that once was me
you are my inspiration.