treasure box;

a treasure box
filled with sentimental nothings
collected over the years
bringing forth buried memories.

a movie theatre ticket
titled this month, this day
five years ago
a first date plus a friend
at eleven forty five a.m.

a unicorn bookmark
given by a dear friend in fifth grade
a friend that drifted away in time
but still holding a special place in my heart.

a handmade origami christmas card
from a friend still in contact
since sixth grade.

a monologue of cinderella's ugly stepsister
performed in front of peers
sixth or seventh grade
still remembering the inflections in the voice.

photos from two-thousand-and-three
seven years in the past
nights and days spent with friends
bonding over christmas cookies.

and so many more trinkets to go
each and every single memento
remembering when it occurred
and the feelings that coursed through my veins.

i can remember it all
and i never wish to forget.

snapshot;

snapshot
frozen in time
to reflect years from now
old memories held close to home
my heart.

marriage;

marriage
commitment bound
to love and to cherish
to protect and share in burdens
lifetime.

lovely;

lovely
beauty surpassed
not outside, but the soul
breathing fresh life into long days
renew.

defunct;

defunct
dead, lifeless, gone
forever lost in time
memory fading from the mind
forget.

and still i check;

i know it's futile, really
clicking at the tabs
hoping something will appear
as if by magic
and put my insane curiosity
at ease.

but of course, nothing
nothing illuminates the screen
nothing sparks excitement
only bitter disappointment
at being thwarted
time and time again.

and still i check
repeatedly, constantly
that craving deep within me
needing, wanting reassurance and satisfaction
even though it knows it will gain neither.

and still i check, and still i check.

wouldn't tell;

i held you in my dreams
hugging you so tightly
i was afraid i'd break your bones
of your already fragile frame.

what had happened to you
wasted away, skin and bones
with haunting, hollow eyes
devoid of any spark of hope.

you wouldn't tell me.

i asked you if you wanted to talk
you flashed me a forced smile
commenting in the negative.
i asked you if you wanted help
and got the same response.

but you were tormented
i could see it in the lines on your face
the way you trembled in my arms
unless it was just from exhaustion

you wouldn't tell me.

i felt the lack of hope reflected in your eyes
and wanted so desperately to take away your pain
who or what caused your desolate state

you wouldn't tell me.

either to protect yourself from suppressed memories
or to spare me the horrors of your tribulations
you wouldn't tell me.

you wouldn't whisper a single word.

hush now;

hush now
dry your wet eyes
tears do not become you
fight the sorrow and go take back
your life.

memory lingers;

it is haunting, the way your memory lingers
gently, sweetly - like day old cologne.
it caresses my soul when you are gone
giving me that spark of hope
the flame that never quite dies
no matter the years gone by.

i can no longer picture your face
it is a fuzzy outline, blurred by color
indistinguishable from the next.
but still, it is my brightest memory
crystal clear as a wine glass.

and so, it is my most cherished.

balloon;

a helium inflated balloon
bobbing happily against the string
that tethers it to the ground
strong and sound
not letting it go
anywhere.

mobile but stationary, dancing along a tune
sung by the movements of the wind
a musical symphony
that flutters through leaves on a tree.

a little air-head, literally
unable to focus on anything but
its current state of bliss.

i want to;

i want to climb the highest mountain tops
exhilarated, breathless
and scream at the top of my lungs
letting out every sorrow and every joy
just to release them free on their journey.

i want to swim across the deepest ocean
twice as fast as lightening
feeling the icy splashes numb
to appreciate every sensation taken for granted.

i want to fly to the heavens
past the clouds and the burning sun
so that i have an excuse
to fall right into your waiting embrace.

snap, snap;

snap, snap
like a polaroid picture
capturing the moment
still-life dreams
immortalized.

a jewel, drop in the ocean
a hidden treasure, coveted
lost in the winds
buried long ago
in the sand.

playing hide-and-seek
with memories found
to life the picture comes
brightening stormy skies.

shining beacon;

you came to me in a nightmare
my shining beacon amongst
a world of terror gleaming.

a golden light that bathed you
emitting a comfort unheard of
your illuminating figure
brightening up the darkest of fears.

my savior where hope was lost
my guide to the world of consciousness
you led me out, you lifted me up
and the veil of sleep which smothered me
dissipated with your farewell.

a cup of insanity;

sip it slowly, carefully
relish in the sweet aroma
a cup of insanity
a new swirl of tea
custom-made for your palate.

the devilish little smirk
gently kissing the corner of your lips
as you contemplate and brood
of whatever musings gallop in your mind.

the hot warmth spreading through your palms
fingertips alight with fire
soaking away the heat
into your slowly melting heart.

closing the eyes to enhance the senses
listening, breathing, tasting
of a victory not yet won
except perhaps only in the mind.

second chance;

a hint of guilt
with a dash of sorrow
and a cupful of regret
mix it up, shake it out
fertilize your dying garden.

twiddling thumbs
a nervous heart shaking
a calm facade setting
on the tear-stained cheeks
meticulously disguised beneath foundation.

what to do, to mend the wrongs
the wounds opened up and exposed
microbial infestations
gnawing at the edges of the soul.

is there a possibility
for redemption
and a second chance.
a lost opportunity
that faded weeks ago
will it, can it
be resurfaced?

let it out;

let it out
she did shout
scream, cry, and die.

throw the temper
break the wards
shred the jumper
spilling filthy words.

bottled up no more
losing grip on the door
falling down to sweet ground
kissing the blessed floor.

thank you, thank you
released from demons
far past their due

close the eyes
time to sleep
drifting to a dream to keep
lured by lullabies.

those dreams again;

last night was filled with those dreams again
of being pursued and marked for conquer
and the ever-lingering idiocy
that surely cannot exist in reality.

it was almost exciting
in a weird, twisted way
fighting for my life
and yet knowing i would survive.

because it was only a dream.

skip a hop on every star;

skip a hop on every star
hand in hand to where you are
so very high above the world
a lovely sight to behold.

close the mouth and open the mind
around the sun we shall ride
tell the stories of the ages
it is all within perspective pages.

always hungry for the unknown
always conquering, as history has shown
watch the beauty from afar
a memorizing beacon, twinkling star.