timeline;

timeline
can you remember your own
when the beginning formed
from very miniscule, humble origins
growing gradually
like a slow-paced flower
blossoming, blooming
into the beauty that it is today.

can you remember
the beauty of the moment
the feelings and emotions that overcame
when you had your first kiss
or when you finally graduated university.

can you still recall those days
can you bring them to the forefront of your mind
or are they swimming happily
in an empty sea of grey
oblivious to your desperation to remember.

the mind is a powerful weapon
it can formulate plans and execute strategies
with accurate precision.
it is the mastermind of the world
the coveted tool that can decide and choose
between evil and good.

but what happens when it slowly deteriorates
the neurons slowly suffocating, dying.
confusion, bewilderment, and depression
an ugly black hole of frustrated emotions
which only seems to be growing larger and larger.

and then, the fighting emotions themselves cease to battle
the war slowly comes to an end
replacing the torn battlefield
with an open landscape
of peace and simplicity.

this is
when the mind slowly succumbs
to genetic deficits and faulty wiring
when people become 'old and senile'
normal and expected in today's society.

but maybe it is something deeper
it has many names and many perceptions
but the failing mind is still the same constant.

so don't ever forget
live life to the fullest
don't ever stop looking forward
so that you would not have regretted anything
if the clock finally starts ticking backwards.

believe;

i think i am finally finding my place
even though i may sometimes have doubts
i have thought more about you
than i ever had in my lifetime.

sometimes i still look in the mirror
and wonder to myself
what and who do i believe?
deep down, i realize
i have been calling to you
whenever i seemed to need it.
even though i scorned you
and discredited you.

but i was only trying to find my place
and i think you understand that.
i still feel weird
even right this moment.
but maybe i can be content
as can you
in knowing that i do believe
but maybe not in the same way
as everyone else.

white christmas;

white christmas
beautiful cascade of soft snow
that falls gently on the ground
slowly creating a winter wonderland
however small it may be
in comparison to the blizzards of the north.

in the dark
light reflects of the white
tall naked trees
that glitter like diamonds
as headlights shines upon iced branches.

footprints on the ground
a scar on the painted floor
but still just as beautiful.

thank you for bringing such beauty
on a special day.
myself and many others
will remember it for years to come.

i will make it mine;

you're almost over
and quite frankly
you were a pain
a thorn in my side.

i won't regret saying goodbye
except for the fact
that i will be just a little older
and a little wiser as well.

2010, i bid thee farewell.
i will welcome the next year
with open arms
because i just taste it now
i can just barely wrap my arms around it.
i can feel it in me
that it will be a great year.
i won't let anything bring it down
i will let it shine for me.

everything i want and more
will finally be realized in 2011.
it will be my year
it will be one i add to my very small list.
but i will make it mine.

hard to find;

why are you so hard to find?
not that i want to, really
but my curiosity craves to be sated
just to know where you are in life
and know i have fared just well
without you.

so many things i would like to say
and they burn at my core.
but how can i
when you have seemingly fallen
off the face of the earth?

maybe it is a good thing
it still gnaws
but i think i can live another twenty
just as i have been.

inevitable;

it was inevitable
happening once again.

of course
we know whose fault it was.
never any question to it.
how does it always end this way?

plans never fully come to the surface
drowning somewhere deep beneath the ocean.
never to see even the sliver of light.

quite disheartening
but who else is to blame?

i want to travel to a world;

i want to travel to a world
where technology does not exist
and nature is in domination
a peaceful but firm dictator.

everything that exists today
humanity has become ridiculously
dependent.
how ever better it makes our lives
it also crushes what makes us strong.

the survival of the fittest
would undoubtedly be put to the test
if we were scooped up
and dropped in the middle of nowhere.
without electricity
cellphones, television
and the internet.

the age of information serves in so many ways
but when it is gone
how would we survive?
how long would we last?

aching nostalgia;

oh this aching nostalgia
burning at my chest
eating away at my core
no matter how bittersweet
memory lane may be.

a swarm of unbidden memories
flashing in my mind like on the big screen
a previews of the life to be
and fantasies of what may.

wonderful, beautiful
sadness and sorrow
joy and love
a mix-match of colors
bright and dark collide.
but each memory is portrayed
in such vivid detail
as if it were happening all over again.

things i may have once missed
but slowly taking the back burner.
it threatens to cut through
like a dagger to the heart
a jagged cut in the chest
to pour out everything inside
to let out what was bottled tightly.

where, what, when
no one knows
no one will know
i can keep it buried deep within
the crevice of my consciousness.
like secrets kept behind a hidden door
i can keep everything to myself.
because they are what made me today.

keep running forward;

keep running forward
feet pounding on the dirt ground
don't look back
and maybe it will disappear.

the cold shadow that creep behind
steadily gaining
distance shortening
between it and sanctuary.

almost there
keep going, keep going
don't miss a beat in the feet
keep it steady
and keep going.

just do it;

what to do, what to do
being pulled again.

come on, come on
make a decision
it's not the end.

go through with it
don't back out
just do it, just do it.

changes;

changes
an inevitable process
the embodiment of evolution.

the exploration for something
better than current
opening new horizons
to our daily life.

rebellion and resistance
to be expected, of course
but eventually conformity
will spread across the people.

unite rather than fight
immerse rather than float
change can be good.

give it a chance.

lazy mornings;

lazy mornings
snuggled under the covers
a warm sanctuary against the cold winter.

beep beep beep
sounds the alarm
a quick tap of snooze
silences it for another blissful
ten minutes.

bright sunlight seeps in between the blinds
dancing like little ballerinas
on the opposite walls.

lazy lazy mornings
time to close the eyes
and drift away to dreams.

little bookworm;

little bookworm
seeking solace in books and knowledge
the library as a second home
almost ornamental.

wide brown eyes
color of mud
but beautifully illuminated
at the very thought of learning.

the target of pranks and jokes
for eccentric behavior.
but a beacon of hope to others.
when all is said and done
and they are all at the front of battle
can they recall upon their education to fight?

inside your eyes;

inside your eyes
i can see another world
a place that you call home
where very few are privy.

the eyes are the windows to the soul
so they say.
i look now to see
such beauty barely shining through
the storm of troubled doubts.

you're lovely.
even if you are not told
very often.
you may be the bane of someone's existence
or the only reason for living to another.

either way.

be confident
stand proud
you are you.